So Much For Unity And Working Together…

, , , , , | Friendly | March 22, 2020

(I walk into the thrift store where two older ladies are working and there’s an old man who just hangs out all day. They are talking very loudly about a very mild kerfuffle that got blown way out of proportion that happened at a local high school involving pro-[American Politician] posters. They have apparently not noticed or cared that anyone has walked in.)

Lady #1: “–and so this little [expletive] kept tearing down the posters, and the school won’t do a thing! It’s disrespectful.”

Lady #2: “They’re always like that, and the teachers are always protecting those types. Why, my granddaughter got in trouble for telling one of those Hispanic boys to stop insulting the teacher. And walking around with Brown Pride shirts!”

(I am starting to get uncomfortable, as well as mentally calling bull on her claim given the area’s demographic makeup. Then, they go back to complaining about the poster incident when the old man pipes up.)

Man: “You know, that boy should be hung by the neck for showing such disrespect!” 

(The ladies made noises of agreement — and I immediately left and haven’t been back since.)

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Here’s A Tip: DON’T

, , , , | Romantic | March 21, 2020

(I work at a coffee shop. There is one customer who, for the past two weeks, has been coming into the shop, ordering a coffee, putting a twenty in the tip jar, and just staring at me. He doesn’t blink, look away, or anything; he just stares at me with a creepy grin. He gives us a lot of tips and business, so my boss refuses to throw him out. 

I don’t usually work on weekends, and I take an extra day off to take my dog to the vet. When I return, my coworker immediately pulls me aside.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], your boyfriend was looking for you earlier.”

Me: “I don’t have a boyfriend.” 

Coworker: “Sure, you do.” *winks* 

(I have a bad gut feeling about this, so I remain on alert, and ten minutes later, the creepy customer comes in, coming up to me and ordering his usual.)

Customer: “When are you going to go out with me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t think this is appropriate. And would you please stop staring at me?” 

Customer: “Sorry, but you are so beautiful that I can’t help it.” 

(He starts making lewd jokes, and by now, my coworker has noticed, and so have a couple of customers sitting nearby.) 

Me: “Sir, I’ve asked you to stop. I’m not going to ask you again.” 

Customer: “Come on, you want me. If you didn’t, you would have kicked me out by now. Your boss and coworkers don’t mind.” 

Coworker: “Actually, I do. Sir, you are disturbing my coworker, me, and other customers. I regret telling you when she was supposed to come in. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how serious this was. Please leave, and don’t return, or the police will be called.”

(The customer leaves, grumbling, and the other customers, who are both men, come up and put money in the tip jar.) 

Customer #2: “If you hadn’t kicked him out, I would have. That was disturbing on so many levels.”

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The Only Disgrace Here Is People Who Assume

, , , , | Friendly | March 20, 2020

(I’ve recently graduated college. My sister is in elementary school. When I go out with my parents and sister, I’ve gotten a lot of comments from people who assume I’m a teen mom. I’m out to dinner with them when my sister announces she has to use the bathroom. I offer to take her and walk her back. The table next to ours has an older couple, maybe in their sixties. I hear whispering as I walk by. I ignore it until I hear…)

Woman: *loudly* “Disgraceful!”

(Startled, I turn around. Lo and behold, she is staring at me and scowling. I roll my eyes and head back to the table. My sister digs into her food. Meanwhile, I’m very angry. My mother looks at me and raises an eyebrow.)

Mom: “What’s up?”

Me: *loudly* “Oh, some people just have nothing better to do than make ignorant comments to strangers regarding situations they know nothing about!”

(I hear a gasp from the other table. I look over and the man is shaking his head while the woman’s face is bright red.)

Mom: *sighs* “Did someone assume that [Sister] was your daughter again?”

Me: “Yep.”

(The older couple left very quickly after that, and I am 90% sure I heard the man tell the woman, “I told you so,” on his way out! Come on, people. Don’t make assumptions. And if someone is a teen mom, that does NOT make them a bad person!)

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If He Has Nothing Else, He Has The Audacity

, , , , | Legal | March 17, 2020

(I stop at a gas station to fill my tank and get a cup of coffee. I approach the register with my drink and am greeted by the cashier.)

Cashier: “Hi, I can take you here if you’re ready.” 

Me: “Thank you.”

Cashier: “Just the coffee?”

Me: “Actually, I’d like to get $20 on the first pump, please.”

Cashier: “Okay.” 

(A random man comes to stand beside me. He puts a few bags of snacks on the counter in front of me and smiles. The cashier smiles at him and begins scanning.)

Me: “Oh, those aren’t mine.”

Man: “It’s okay, babe.” 

Me: *shaking my head* “No, I –”

Man: *to the cashier* “I’ll take a case of [Cigarettes], too.”

Me: “Stop. I do not know him; I am not buying anything for him.”

Cashier: *uncomfortable* “Okay. So… Uh…”

Man: “Don’t tease her, honey.”

Me: “I’m not teasing anyone. You need to wait your turn.”

Man: “It’s not a big deal.” *puts his hand on the small of my back* “Smile!”

Me: *putting my hand in my pocket* “I will mace you.”

Man: *steps back, hands up* “Okay. It was just a joke. No need to be a b****.”

(The man pushes everything off the counter — thankfully not my coffee — walks out to his car and watches us at the register.)

Cashier: *blushing* “I’m so sorry. I thought you knew him and he was just adding to your order.” 

Me: “It’s okay; it’s not your fault.” 

Cashier: “Do you still want your coffee and gas?”

Me: “I’m going to wait until he leaves if that’s okay with you.” 

Cashier: “Totally acceptable.”

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I Wouldn’t Want To Talk To Them, Either

, , , , , | Friendly | March 13, 2020

(I’m awakened from a dead sleep by the phone ringing at 3:00 am. I’m a minister, so this kind of thing occasionally happens, and I figure I need to answer it. So, I stumble out to the living room and answer the phone.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “[Female Name]?”

Me: “No, you have the wrong number.”

Caller: “No, I don’t!” *hangs up*

(I’ve just gotten back to bed when the phone rings again.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “[Female Name]?”

Me: “Sorry, as I’ve explained, you have the wrong number. There’s no [Female Name] here.”

Caller: “D*** it, [Female Name], talk to me!”

Me: “No [Female Name] here.” *hangs up*

(Once more, I’ve just gotten to bed when the phone rings.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “[Female Name]?”

Me: “Look, I’m sorry. I’ve already told you twice: you have the wrong number. There is no one named [Female Name] here.”

Caller: “No, you’re [Female Name]! Quit avoiding me, b****! [Female Name]! Talk to me!”

Me: “I can’t help you. I’m not [Female Name].”

(After that, I unplugged the phone, praying that there would not be any ACTUAL pastoral emergencies.)

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