Exactly Where Did She Grow Up

, , , , | Friendly | August 25, 2017

Woman #1: *American accent* “Hey! May I just ask you what you are doing?”

Me: “Waiting for a bus.”

Woman #1: “Really?! And what do you do?”

Me: “To wait for a bus?”

(She nods.)

Me: “You… just stand around, waiting.”

(She looks at me really enthusiastically, and then moves on to questions like, is it a hobby, how long do people wait, and if “bus” [with actual air quotes] is some sort of animal native to the UK. After a few minutes another woman appears and tells her they’re leaving. The first woman shakes my hand and she joins her group. The other woman stays behind to talk to me.)

Woman #2: “Sorry about that, she’s had quite a… closed childhood, and not everything is quite there. She seems to think even the most mundane thing over here is strange and exotic. Thank you, though, for entertaining her. Most people have just walked away, acting really offended.”

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A Questionable Set Of Priorities

, , , | Friendly | August 25, 2017

(I am walking through a park after work, and I overhear this exchange between two teens leaving the park’s teen center.)

Teen #1: “He’s always so grouchy and shirty with me.”

Teen #2: “How?”

Teen #1: “Well, I asked him what that white powder was and he snapped at me that it was cocaine. Like, I asked a question because I didn’t know what it was. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you don’t understand, ask a question! So I did and he snaps at me.”

(Kid, I think you and this friend might not have compatible worldviews.)

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Coffee Karma

, , , , | Friendly | August 24, 2017

(I am in my late teens, sitting in the intercity bus station, waiting for my bus’s arrival to be announced. There are two ladies sitting beside me, chatting about going for coffee, when all of a sudden one of them turns to me.)

Woman: “Would you like a coffee?”

Me: “Uh…”

Woman: “Oh, right, you’re too young for coffee. Never mind, then.”

(They get up and go without another word, leaving me feeling completely baffled. I then realize they left their luggage behind.)

Me: *mentally* “…crap.”

(Despite not being asked to do so, I proceed to sit there keeping a watchful eye on their luggage, since I would feel bad if I left them unattended and something happened. I’m also keeping a close eye on the clock, hoping they’ll come back soon. When there is less than ten minutes before my bus leaves, just as I am about to abandon their bags anyway, they finally return. As soon as I see them, I jump up and sprint to my bus’s bay so I don’t miss it. As I am in line to give the driver my ticket, they approach me.)

Woman: “Did you watch our luggage the entire time we were gone?”

Me: “Well, I didn’t want it to get stolen…”

Woman: “Thank you very much!”

Me: “Um, you’re welcome.”

(As luck would have it, I was actually able to get my preferred seat on the bus, even though it is usually claimed by the very first people on. I figured it was karma paying me back.)

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Ballin’ Down The Street

, , , , | Friendly | August 23, 2017

(I’m an 18-year-old girl, and I’m walking down the sidewalk wearing a new outfit that I’m very happy about; it consists of a short skirt with a simple v-neck shirt and pump heels. I don’t have really anything in the way of curves and no cleavage to speak of, but I’m still feeling fine as ever. Then, a middle aged, businessman-looking guy walks by.)

Man: *smirking* “Lookin’ good, doll.”

(This is the first time I’ve ever been catcalled to my face, but I am prepared.)

Me: *turning around and grabbing my crotch* “Thanks, I tucked my balls for this. You can’t tell, can you?”

(His face twisted in disgust and suddenly he was speed-walking away from me. As soon as those words left my mouth, I heard hysterical laughter behind me, and when I turned back around I saw an older lady bending over because she was laughing so hard. She gave me a high five and said, “You keep up that attitude, young lady!”)

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Four-Way Stop And Think About What You Just Said

, , , , | Friendly | August 23, 2017

(My dad and I are driving home and come to a four-way stop sign. Anyone who has been on the road before should understand this is a great place to find these kinds of stories. Two people pull up just before we do. We wait our turn and everyone seems to understand how this works… until just as our turn comes, when a woman comes barreling down, rocketing through the stop sign without even slowing down. As she passes us, she sticks her head out of the window and screams:)

Woman: “BACK THE F*** UP! THERE’S A LINE!”

(My dad barely had his front tires over the line. This woman ran a stop sign. Clearly, my dad’s crime was much worse.)

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