The Meat Of The Matter

, , , , | Friendly | December 14, 2016

I take the bus to do my food shopping. I am sitting there with three or four bags at my feet when a college-aged girl sits next to me. I thought it is strange since there are only two other passengers and plenty of empty seats.

The next thing I know this girl is digging into my bags and screaming at me… “Meat is murder! Murderer!”

I get up, grab my bags from her, and force my way out of the seat to sit on the other side. The whole time this girl is getting louder and louder to the point the bus driver stops the bus and tells her to be quiet.

It takes two police officers to get her off the bus. She is screaming for them to arrest the murderer (me) as the police drove off with her in the back of the car.

If she was that against meat, she should have stayed out of my groceries!

1 Thumbs

Did A Job On You

, , , , | Friendly | December 12, 2016

I am autistic and because of this have always come off as… odd. Odd enough most people don’t want to hire me.

I am in the job centre to look at the jobs available so I can apply when a man walks over and starts talking to me. I try to be polite as he insists on continuing to talk until finally he says “I’m from [Local Church] group.c

I smile and say that I’m not interested, leafing through the information pages of the jobs. Finally he comments on my accent.

I am English born and raised, but my autism has given me a strong northern American accent. I explain that to him, making a joke about it making me unique like I always do even as I feel myself wilting inside. I find social interaction exhausting.

The next thing I know, the man puts his hand on my shoulder and says “I am so sorry to hear that!” Like I have a terminal disease and I only have three days to live. And I am panicking because I hate being touched and he’s looking me straight in the eyes as he says this. “But one day the lord will help you.”

And that’s when I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the building still carrying the paper. Never went back and ended up being signed off work from stress.

1 Thumbs

The Most Dangerous Creature In The Room

, , | Friendly | August 11, 2016

(I own a 210 lbs, very lazy mastiff. I’ve taken him with me to a dog friendly brewery to meet with a friend of mine. Once we get there my dog promptly falls asleep. We are just talking when we are approached by a woman with a small dog.)

Woman: “You can’t have that beast here!”

Me: “Why not? You have your dog and mine has just as much right to be here as yours.”

Woman: “My dog actually behaves! That behemoth will wreck everything!”

(While she is saying this my dog is sound asleep not making a peep and hers is continually barking. Since I won’t back down she goes and gets the manager.)

Manager: “Sir, I’ve got reports that your dog is being aggressive and growling at other patrons.”

Me: “That’s not true at all. He’s been asleep the whole time we’ve been here.”

Woman: “No, he hasn’t! I heard him growling!”

(An admittedly loud noise comes from where my dog is laying.)

Woman: “See! He just did it again. Get him out of here before he attacks my dog and everyone else here.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s called snoring. He’s sound asleep.”

1 Thumbs

Not-So-Sweet Candy

, | Friendly | July 9, 2016

(I have just bought several large containers of assorted candy from a popular market and I am currently waiting for a streetcar. A homeless woman who was sitting nearby approaches me.)

Homeless Woman: “Excuse me, can you lend me some money for food? It doesn’t have to be a lot.”

Me: “I don’t have any money on me right now but I just bought some candy. Here, take a container.” *I hold the containers of candy out for her to choose one*

Homeless Woman: “NO!” *walks away*

1 Thumbs

Adopting A New View On Nannies

, , , , , , | Friendly | June 7, 2016

(I spent a year as a live-in nanny for a very nice Korean family. They’d had triplets after years of trying to get pregnant, and when the kids turn 4 years old the mom decides she wants to start training to pick her career back up when they reach school age. So, I move in to help out. It is a great deal; I receive weekly pay with free room and board, and Sundays off. One of my responsibilities is to take the kids to their dance and martial arts lessons. This happens after I’ve been nannying for them for about two months.)

Me: *taking the kids’ shoes off so they can run onto the training mat area* “Okay, have fun! I’ll be right over here where the chairs are. Bye!”

(I say small words like “hello,” “goodbye,” and “please” in Korean because their parents want them to be bilingual. The three kids, two girls and a boy, run off to join their martial arts class. This class is primarily karate based.)

Random Woman: *drops her kid off and comes over to me* “I just wanted to say that I think it’s great what you’re doing!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Random Woman: “You are so generous! Adopting those three babies from their impoverished country to give them a better life here! Bless you!”

Me: *I’m only twenty-one and it’s clear how young I am* “Um… I didn’t adopt—”

Random Woman: “And you’re even preserving their culture by bringing them here and using some of their native words!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, first of all this is a karate class, which is primarily from Japan. Those kids are Korean, and the traditional martial art of Korea is taekwondo. Second thing, I didn’t adopt them; I’m probably not even eligible to adopt anyone right now. I’m their nanny.”

Random Woman: “What?! An Asian family with a white nanny?!”

Me: “Yes… it’s a great job. ”

Random Woman: *starts turning red* “Well, I… humph!”

(She goes across the room to wait for her kid to finish class. My three kids come running over to me. They call me “Imo,” a Korean word for “Aunt”.)

Kids: “Imo! Imo! Did you see us?”

Me: “Yep, you all did great! Who wants to go home and have some frozen yogurt?”

Kids: “Me, me, me!”

(As we were leaving I heard the woman’s kid whining about getting frozen yogurt, and I had to smile a little bit.)

1 Thumbs