Everyone is tired of the health crisis restrictions in the UK. We have just gone into a second lockdown, largely because idiots do not think the rules apply to them or don’t care that their actions have consequences.

We have lost family members directly due to the crisis and missed big family events, and our children have struggled, both through school and just quality of life.

All of this could have been prevented by just following some basic guidelines, so I don’t have much patience for these idiots.

I am in a popular clothing and home goods shop around mid-morning and am doing my best to keep well away from anyone. I see a guy down an aisle standing next to what I need. He is taking his sweet time, but I wait and wait. Clearly, he takes offence at this.

Man: “If you want to go past, just go!”

Me: “You’re not wearing a mask, so I’ll keep my distance, thanks.”

Man: “I’m exempt!”

Me: “Don’t care. If you’re not wearing a mask, I don’t want you anywhere near me.”

The man goes into a tirade of whiny BS about being persecuted and about how I should be banned from the store. As I wait for him to finish, he starts to walk up to me and I step back. He takes even more offence at this, getting louder and animated.

He has the store’s attention now. A few more customers are gathering around both ends of the aisle. I see a young staff member approach, looking tense.

An old guy sitting in his mobility scooter pipes up.

Old Man: “Young man, I am seventy-two and have a collapsed lung. I have to use an oxygen tank to breathe, and I can still wear a mask! What’s your excuse?”

The irate man looked around at the onlookers and there was a long silence before he stormed off.

My boyfriend and I are having a mock-argument over a card game while cooking dinner. As he isn’t speaking to me, I go back to his room; he lives in student housing. When I turn the corner, I see someone INSIDE his room. Naturally, I run up and yell:

Me: “What do you think you are doing?!”

This makes the guy jump and turn round. He has on the ground a bag from a food delivery service, and he starts to tell me he has my food. I don’t speak German very well and cannot remember how to say, “Get out,” so it becomes a very agitated conversation in a mixture of English and very bad German on my part. I occasionally yell for my boyfriend (who can’t hear me from across the building) while we are talking, which is making the guy nervous.

He seems to think he has the answer and pulls out his phone to show the building on a map. I don’t care why he is there and am making gestures telling him to go. I keep telling him:

Me: “Nicht hier!” *Not here!*

But he is insistent it has to be my food. He isn’t even wearing a mask, which is making me more furious. I then mime for him to call the person who ordered the food, but apparently, he doesn’t get an answer.

Apparently, somehow, he managed to enter the building after not getting an answer, and instead of waiting in the entrance, he decided my boyfriend’s room must be the right one and knocked. When there was no answer, he let himself in, and then I turned up.

After about ten minutes of this, he finally turned around and left and I did a quick assessment to make sure everything valuable we had out was in place. Then, I ran back to the kitchen and told my boyfriend to lock his room as had I found someone in there. Luckily, everything was in place and we went back, confused and shaken as to what the h*** the guy was thinking.

I keep reminding my boyfriend it is a good thing I can beat him at cards as it meant I chased off a potential thief from his room.

As I am walking home from school, I pass these ladies outside our neighborhood’s town center with a Christmas tree, tables, and clipboards. These ladies look to be in their early forties to early sixties. Out of curiosity, I walk up to them.

Me: “Hello!”

Lady #1: “Hi there! Are you interested in helping a child in need this Christmas?”

Me: “Sure! What do I have to do?”

The three ladies look a little shocked at this.

Lady #2: “You pick a kid’s name off the tree, and then you just follow the instructions on the ornament!”

Lady #1: “Would you like to have your parents come back and write their names and phone number?”

Me: “No, it’s fine; I’ll put down my info.”

All the ladies are very shocked at this.

Lady #3: *Pause* “Sign here, please.”

I put down my information and pick a ten-year-old boy who wants an arts and crafts kit.

Me: “Wow! I got lucky! I got a kid who loves art, too!”

Lady #1: “You… you like art?”

Me: “Yeah! I take it at school! Bye!”

As I walk off, I can hear [Lady #1] talking.

Lady #1: “See, [Lady #2]? Not all teenage girls are self-centered b****es!”

It is a regular weekday. I’m off work and running some errands. My first stop is the pharmacy. The pharmacist is an elderly, very white, very stereotypical German-looking lady.

Pharmacist: “Namasté!”

Next, I’m in the drive-thru of a well-known fast food chain.

Server: “All hail! What doest thou desire, fair lady?”

When I’m grocery shopping…

Cashier: “What’s the scene, jellybean?”

At the gas station:

Cashier: “Ahoy! Pump three?”

And finally, when I get home… 

Brother: “So we meet again…” *Creepy laugh* “It is time to d-d-d-d-duel!”

I’m a university student sharing an apartment with two other people. Despite the health emergency, my flatmates have decided to keep inviting people over for the night, albeit at specific four-person schedules. Aside from not being too keen on their behaviour right now, I usually don’t mind it too much, as we eat at different times and they take care of aerating places and wiping things down after all is said and done.

I go to bed rather early on a night when someone’s been invited over. The morning after, as I wake up, I feel something blocking me from rolling over. Startled, I look to my side and see a person curled up next to me.

Me: “Holy f***, who the h*** are you?” 

I hear a groan.

Girl: “Don’t be so loud. I have a headache.”

Me: “I’m going to give you more than a headache if you don’t get off the bed!”

The girl groans again as she slowly sits up and massages her head. At this point, a foul smell hits me, so I crane my neck over to the other side and see there’s a puddle of vomit on the floor and some of it splashed on my sports clothing.

Me: “That’s nasty.”

Girl: “Look, man, I was drunk, and now I’m hungover. Just let me get out of here. I need to get back home before my parents rip off my arms.”

Me: “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me who you are and who let you in my room, and you help me clean up.”

She sighs and gives out a pained moan.

Girl: “Ugh, and here I thought you were chiller than this. I knew I shouldn’t have listened to [Bad Flatmate].”

My eyes go wide open. I get up, put on my slippers, and furiously bang on [Bad Flatmate]’s door.

Bad Flatmate: “Jesus f***, mate, calm down. What’s the deal with you?!”

Me: “What’s my deal? What’s your deal?! Why is there a girl in my bed and why did you let her in?”

Bad Flatmate: *Annoyed, opening the door* “Because she came here by car and was drunk. We didn’t have enough room in the living room, so we figured you wouldn’t mind if—”

Me: “When did I say you could enter my room to give a bed to random people?!”

Bad Flatmate: “What, did you want to have a dead girl on your conscience? She couldn’t drive!”

Me: *Gritting my teeth* “You shouldn’t bring people home to hold parties, yet here we are, with a hungover girl that shouldn’t be here vomiting on my clothes while sleeping in my bed, when I didn’t ask or explicitly allow it, because of you, you f****** moron.”

Bad Flatmate: “You’re a little b****, you know that? Y’know what, fine. I’ll help you clean up if that’ll shut you up.”

By the time he agreed to help me clean, the girl was already gone. I think I’m going to need to invest in a new lock.