An Odd Flow Of Conversation

, , , | Friendly | August 28, 2017

(I’m at the beach with my sister, when a random woman runs up to me, waving her hands frantically.)

Woman: *shouting* “Are you wearing red pants because you have your period?”

Me: “Uh, no?”

Woman: *calmer* “Crap. Any chance you have a tampon on you anyway?”

Me: “I do.”

(I hand her one and she quickly darts for the nearest bathroom. As she comes out, she shouts to me again from about 20 yards away.)

Woman: “Thank you, tampon lady!”

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Raising Some Trouble

, , , | Friendly | August 28, 2017

(My grandparents are waiting to transition into long term care, so they move to an area that is closer to us in the meantime. My grandma is blind and is showing signs of dementia, while my grandfather can’t walk and has just beaten skin cancer. Due to this, they need help getting groceries, so my mom takes my grandma out. I accompany them on this trip, and we are waiting in line to buy our groceries when the following happens.)

Cashier: *in another lane* “I can take anyone on express now.”

(We don’t move, since we have a lot of groceries. I notice the lady behind us looking at our cart and then at the cashier who called out, but think nothing of it at first.)

Woman: *behind us* “Excuse me, she said she was opening up her lane for groceries.”

Mom: “Oh, that was only for express though.”

Woman: “Yeah, you don’t have that many groceries. She would probably take you.”

(My mom and I look at our overflowing cart, then back at the woman, wondering if she’s serious. My mom decides to go the nice way about this.)

Mom: “Thanks for pointing that out to us, but we’re here now, and it’ll be too much to walk my mom over there.”

Woman: “Well, she seems fine to me.”

Mom: *throwing kindness out the window, grabs my grandma’s walking cane* “See this? Do you know what it means?

Woman: “Yes, I certainly do. My grandmother was blind and she raised me by herself. She would also run and clean a full household. How dare you assume that your own mother can’t do anything? I was only trying to help!”

(The woman keeps on ranting on how my mom is rude and that we should move, etc. I try to get her to back off, but she won’t stop. Finally, my grandma steps in.)

Grandma: “I can’t hear like I used to; what’s this fuss?”

(Before my mom can answer, the woman steps in, trying to sweet-talk her.)

Woman: “Hi there, so sorry for this. I know what you’re going through. My grandmother was blind as well, and she raised me all by herself.”

(While my mom and I are rolling our eyes, my grandma looks at her the best she can.)

Grandma: “Well, she didn’t do a very good job.”

(As my mom and I laughed, the woman turned red. She kept on trying to rant, but we just bought our groceries and left. Kudos to my grandma, though; she’s approaching 80 and still hasn’t lost her sense of humour.)

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I Don’t Hate Men, Just You

, , , , | Romantic | August 27, 2017

(I’m at the library, minding my own business, when a man old enough to be my father approaches me. He’s not a total stranger; we have seen each other at the library before. We’ve even had the basic, “Hi, how’s the weather?” conversation the previous week, but nothing beyond that. Note that we haven’t said a single word to each other this day.)

Man: “Hey, here’s my number, [phone number]. And don’t forget it.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

Man: “So, what about dinner at [Local Restaurant]?”

Me: “I don’t date.”

Man: “What? Hate men or something?”

Me: “No. I’m asexual. I’m not into dating anyone.”

Man: “Oh. Coffee, then?”

(This is far from the only conversation I’ve had with men old enough to be my father. Without fail, even after telling them I don’t date, they ask me out for coffee. They don’t even seem to care enough about me to know I don’t drink coffee [I’m a tea drinker]. And this has happened over a half a dozen times.)

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Their Sense Of Compassion Is Disabled

, , , | Friendly | August 27, 2017

(I take the train to work each day, because I don’t drive, due to a non-obvious disability. I board at my usual stop and a couple, headed for the airport judging by their luggage, gets in the same car as me. There is only one set of seats for disabled people not currently in use, but most of the rest of the car is unoccupied. The disabled seats are clearly marked with signs at seating eye level. Between themselves and their luggage, the couple proceeds to take up the entire space, leaving no space for me to sit down. The following interaction ensues between me and the husband.)

Me: “Excuse me. I’m disabled and need to sit down, please.”

Man: “What?”

Me: “I said excuse me. I’m disabled and need to sit down, please.”

(After a couple minutes’ staring contest they move with considerable petulance and ill-grace.)

Man: “Well, EXCUSE ME for wanting to sit next to my WIFE!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry that my disability is proving so inconvenient for you, sir.”

Man: “Well, how was I to know those seats are for disabled people?”

Me: “I’m no expert on such matters but I would suspect the signs—” *I point to one* “—might be just a bit of a clue.”

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Exactly Where Did She Grow Up

, , , , | Friendly | August 25, 2017

Woman #1: *American accent* “Hey! May I just ask you what you are doing?”

Me: “Waiting for a bus.”

Woman #1: “Really?! And what do you do?”

Me: “To wait for a bus?”

(She nods.)

Me: “You… just stand around, waiting.”

(She looks at me really enthusiastically, and then moves on to questions like, is it a hobby, how long do people wait, and if “bus” [with actual air quotes] is some sort of animal native to the UK. After a few minutes another woman appears and tells her they’re leaving. The first woman shakes my hand and she joins her group. The other woman stays behind to talk to me.)

Woman #2: “Sorry about that, she’s had quite a… closed childhood, and not everything is quite there. She seems to think even the most mundane thing over here is strange and exotic. Thank you, though, for entertaining her. Most people have just walked away, acting really offended.”

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