Five girls approach me, dressed in punk-style gear and complete with wild spiked or mohawked rainbow dyed hair.

Girl #1: “You like hip hop, right?”

Me: “Yeah!

I’m lying in hopes of scoring a phone number; in truth, I actually hate it. I happen to like hardcore heavy metal music.

Girl #1: “Cool! We’re a local hip hop group; we’re [Group].”

She introduces each girl and they shake my hand.

Girl #1: “We’re really trying to get our name out there because we don’t have an agent or promoter or anything. We have to do the legwork ourselves, knocking on every door we can, hoping someday we can finally get ourselves a record contract.”

Me: “Hey! [Music Artists] started out by selling tapes out of a car trunk, so don’t feel ashamed at all. I respect what you’re doing.”

Girl #1: “Would you be so kind as to buy one of our CDs? We’re happy to take anything you offer.”

Admiring their effort trying to make it to the top by any means possible, I paid them $10 for a CD despite the fact that I knew it was going to end up as a beer coaster next to my computer. They heartily thanked me and we went our separate ways.

About two months later, I randomly came across the CD and decided to pop it in for the h*** of it, seeing that I paid money for it anyway.

IT WAS HARDCORE METAL AND I LOVED IT! Sneaky little b***ards!

I am sitting and sipping on a coffee, all pepped up for the day, when these two pretty girls walk up.

Girl #1: “Excuse me. You’re [My Name], right?”

Me: *Perking up* “Yeah, do I know you?”

Girl #1: “My sister is your coworker, and I’m one of your followers on Facebook. I just wanted to say that I think you have a really nice and interesting personality, and your writing has me either totally cracking up or really thinking deep. You have such an interesting perspective on common issues. Honestly, I couldn’t personally date you myself because I don’t necessarily find you that attractive, but I just wanted to say I think you’ll make some girl out there really happy and I wish you the best of luck.”

I stare at her and an awkward silence falls.

Girl #1: “Oh, my God, that… totally came out all wrong, didn’t it?”

Me: “Yeah, thanks for walking up and politely telling me I’m too ugly to date. Anything else you’d care to depress me with?”

Girl #1: “Sorry, I—”

Her friend starts pushing her toward the door.

Girl #2: “Nice job, [Girl #1]!”

I saw someone lose their smartphone in real-time. I was driving behind her and saw it fly off the top of her car on a busy one-lane highway. It was a little dangerous, but I pulled over, waited for a break in traffic, and darted out to grab the phone. It was miraculously unharmed. Her background pic showed a woman in her twenties and her partner.

I kept driving around doing my errands until her phone rang, about thirty or forty minutes later. I told her where the phone had flown off the roof and how I’d retrieved it and mentioned that she must have put it up there while getting gas or something.

Her response?

Woman: “Okay. Could you bring it here to me in [Her Town, thirty minutes away], please? I work at [Pizza Joint].”

Me: “Uhhhh… That’s nowhere near me. I’m in [My Town]. You can pick it up here. I’ll meet you at the [Donut Shop].”

Woman: *Annoyed* “I can’t drive all the way to [My Town]. I don’t know [My Town]. Let’s meet halfway at [Popular Restaurant].”

Me: “That’s not even remotely halfway. [Popular Restaurant] is still in your town. Want to just pick it up later?”

Woman: “I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!”

She put her boyfriend on the phone.

Boyfriend: “Dude, what’s your f****** problem? Give her back her phone already.”

This went on for a few minutes with the boyfriend getting “tougher and tougher.” I have zero tolerance for s***ty behavior, so I hung up on them and shut off the phone.

I was going to visit my grandfather the next day, so I kept the phone on me until then. When I got to granddad’s town two hours away, I turned the phone on, found the girl’s father in her contacts, called him, and told him everything. He was very apologetic, and I’m guessing it wasn’t his first rodeo. I told him that, due to her rudeness — and her boyfriend’s thinly-veiled threats — the phone could now be picked up at the local police station in my granddad’s hometown.

Dad’s response?

Dad: “Looks like she’ll have a three-hour drive both ways this weekend. Sorry again.”

This story is part of our Best Of May 2021 roundup!

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About two or three weeks before Christmas, a lady posted a request on a public group asking if anyone was willing to send her a birthday card since she’s always lonely and sad on her birthday, which is shortly before Christmas. I’ve been in a bad financial situation, but I’ve been blessed by not being lonely, and I know how much it sucks, so I wanted to send this lady a really nice card and letter. I contacted her and she gave me her address. I bought a card, wrote what I thought was a nice and caring letter, and designed a little calligraphy. I also wrote that I would like to send her another card next year, hopefully with something else to give. I sent the card and was genuinely hoping that it’d at least make the lady feel a little less sad and lonely.

A few days ago, about a week and a half after her birthday, she sent me two messages. One said that she was doing very badly at the moment (not sure why), so she would be very happy if I would get her an additional birthday present.

The second message was an Amazon link.

As I said, I’ve been in a bad financial situation. The money I spent for the card and postage could’ve been my meal for a day or two. What this lady wanted was about twice as much. It wasn’t a lot of money but definitely enough to make me remove her from my contacts. I wonder if anyone else sent her a card and got the same message. And she never thanked me for the card — not that I was expecting that, but getting an additional request for a birthday present instead? A week and a half after it passed? Yeah, no.

I’m sitting alone at a table for two outside a busy cafe in the park, enjoying a coffee and cake. A woman with two young children in a double buggy comes up and buys drinks and sandwiches. There are no free tables. She comes up to me and points at the empty seat.

Woman: “Hi, can I sit here?”

Me: “Er, no, sorry.”

Hello, HEALTH CRISIS?!

Woman: “Oh, it’s just me. The kids are fine in the buggy.”

Me: “No. Sorry, but no. I’m not happy being that close.”

Woman: “Well, can you sit there and I have the table?”

She points at the counter where there are tall bar stools.

Me: “No. Sorry, but I’m staying at this table.”

Woman: “But it’s only you. I’ve got the kids; I need a table.”

Me: “Look, sorry, but no. Please leave me alone.”

She stomped over to the counter and glared at me as she drank her coffee. I finished my food, grabbed my crutches from where they were very obviously leaning against the back of my chair, hauled my awkward self up, and hobbled away.

She was red as a beetroot, staring down at her cup and refusing to look up.