I was on a two-hour-long car ride. Midway home, I saw a woman waving down cars to get a lift. I stopped and picked her up, and she asked if I could take a ten-minute detour, adding twenty minutes to my drive. I obliged since it was winter and we were in Canada. I always pick up hitchhikers if I can and try to be nice since I’ve needed to hitchhike many times.

Upon getting there, she offered me $5 if I’d wait for her for maximum five minutes to bring her to another destination. I was a bit impatient, but I figured $5 is gas money and is always useful. So, I waited. She came back out and told me she didn’t have a $5 bill, and she was already in the car, so I might as well bring her home.

I asked her if she had any higher bills she could split and that I had fives and tens, just to see if she’d follow through on the deal. Nope. She asked me if I could straight-up give her $10. Nothing in between.

I was taken aback. I ignored it and stayed silent but I was a bit pissed. We got to the lady’s place and she asked again if I could give her $10. This time, I told her, “No, I’m sorry but I think I already did plenty tonight. I don’t know you. I’ve taken quite a detour and was promised $5. My good deed is done.”

You’d think that would have been enough to get her out of my car. Nope. She asked me at least four more times if I was 100% sure I could not spare her a $10 or even just $5, without giving a reason as to why she needed it. I was mind blown and pissed off at this stranger’s attitude but still gave her a simple “no,” to stay polite at least.

Eventually, she got out of my car and I drove off, but man, did I regret not being an a**hole.

I am visiting family in San Diego right when all the restrictions are lifted and I happen to have my blue and gold macaw, Wendy, with me. Wendy likes to travel and goes almost everywhere with me. She is very funny and polite. However, there is one caveat: for whatever reason, she does NOT like men. She won’t actively attack a man, but she does freak out when one comes near her and she’s not expecting it or she doesn’t know him.

We stop at a donut shop. I am feeding Wendy a piece of blueberry donut. She is on my shoulder, minding her own business, enjoying her treat, when all of a sudden I can feel her rock back, dig her talons into my flesh, and let out a little yell. I turn and some drunk lady has decided to take it upon herself and pull on my bird’s long tail. As if that isn’t an issue enough, once Wendy turned to investigate, the lady’s very tall boyfriend happened to be there and that’s when Wendy really freaked out.

Me: “Don’t touch my bird!”

Drunk Woman: *Whining* “Buuuut I just wanna pet it.”

Me: “You don’t just grab someone’s pet without asking.”

My sister interjects to try to keep the peace.

Sister: “Plus, she’s afraid of men.”

Drunk Boyfriend: *Gesturing to the lady* “Clearly, she is a female.”

Me: “Clearly, you are not.” 

Don’t touch someone’s animal without asking, and don’t get shocked when you get yelled at when you do.

Wendy was unharmed and enjoyed the rest of her treat.

The year is 2019 and my favorite boy band growing up announces they are going on tour. I buy tickets the day they come out, excited for a nostalgic experience with my husband who I am dragging along.

Less than a week after the tickets are purchased, I learn that I am expecting. With the concert date a little under seven months away, I decide to still go. However, I failed to buy parking with the tickets, and by the time I decide that a close parking spot would be well worth the money now, they are completely sold out.

The day of the concert comes, and even arriving multiple hours early, we struggle to find parking close to the arena. We finally settle and make a rather lengthy walk. By the time we get to our seats, I am sweating and extremely out of breath.

My husband leaves me to go get some drinks and food as I enjoy the air conditioning.

Some time passes and a mom and her teenage daughter take a seat beside me. I think nothing of it as the band’s current fans range from pre-teens to their thirties. I glance at the woman as they settle in their seats, and she is giving me and my pregnant stomach a death glare. I smile at her just in time for her to pounce out of her seat and tower over me.

Woman: “How dare you come someplace like this?! Showing off your gross pregnant stomach! You are showing girls your age this is okay!”

I am very taken back and still slightly out of breath but I quickly gain my composure.

Me: “Ma’am, not that it’s any of your business—”

She cuts me off again, going into a rant about how her daughter now thinks teenage pregnancy is cool because I’m here.

I realize with my jeans shorts, band T-shirt, and Converse, I appear a bit younger than my twenty-five years. However, I fail to believe that I look as young as her fourteen-year-old daughter.

Woman: “You know what? Forget it! We’re leaving! I hope you’re happy, making my baby miss this show because you couldn’t keep your legs closed.”

She then violently pulls her daughter up by her arm and up the stairs. She passes my husband coming down the stairs with his arms full of drinks and snacks and almost knocks him over. 

Husband: “Wow, she seemed mad.”

Me: “Yeah, I guess you should know. You apparently married and impregnated a minor.” 

The lady and her daughter did return about ten minutes after the show started. My guess is she tried to get their seats changed without any luck. She didn’t say another word to me, luckily, and I enjoyed the show.

Five girls approach me, dressed in punk-style gear and complete with wild spiked or mohawked rainbow dyed hair.

Girl #1: “You like hip hop, right?”

Me: “Yeah!

I’m lying in hopes of scoring a phone number; in truth, I actually hate it. I happen to like hardcore heavy metal music.

Girl #1: “Cool! We’re a local hip hop group; we’re [Group].”

She introduces each girl and they shake my hand.

Girl #1: “We’re really trying to get our name out there because we don’t have an agent or promoter or anything. We have to do the legwork ourselves, knocking on every door we can, hoping someday we can finally get ourselves a record contract.”

Me: “Hey! [Music Artists] started out by selling tapes out of a car trunk, so don’t feel ashamed at all. I respect what you’re doing.”

Girl #1: “Would you be so kind as to buy one of our CDs? We’re happy to take anything you offer.”

Admiring their effort trying to make it to the top by any means possible, I paid them $10 for a CD despite the fact that I knew it was going to end up as a beer coaster next to my computer. They heartily thanked me and we went our separate ways.

About two months later, I randomly came across the CD and decided to pop it in for the h*** of it, seeing that I paid money for it anyway.

IT WAS HARDCORE METAL AND I LOVED IT! Sneaky little b***ards!

I am sitting and sipping on a coffee, all pepped up for the day, when these two pretty girls walk up.

Girl #1: “Excuse me. You’re [My Name], right?”

Me: *Perking up* “Yeah, do I know you?”

Girl #1: “My sister is your coworker, and I’m one of your followers on Facebook. I just wanted to say that I think you have a really nice and interesting personality, and your writing has me either totally cracking up or really thinking deep. You have such an interesting perspective on common issues. Honestly, I couldn’t personally date you myself because I don’t necessarily find you that attractive, but I just wanted to say I think you’ll make some girl out there really happy and I wish you the best of luck.”

I stare at her and an awkward silence falls.

Girl #1: “Oh, my God, that… totally came out all wrong, didn’t it?”

Me: “Yeah, thanks for walking up and politely telling me I’m too ugly to date. Anything else you’d care to depress me with?”

Girl #1: “Sorry, I—”

Her friend starts pushing her toward the door.

Girl #2: “Nice job, [Girl #1]!”