That Was A Weird Trip(oli)

, , , | Friendly | January 16, 2019

(I’m on my way home from school on a train. I sometimes wear camo pants but I’m pretty sure this day I didn’t. If I did, the story might have made at least some sense. A man comes to sit next to me, but in a very stiff manner. He kinda moves like a robot would. A minute after he sits down he leans towards me and out of the blue asks me this incredibly random question.)

Man: “Do you happen to know any intel about the current situation in Lebanon?”

Me: “Ehm. No. Can’t help you there. Sorry.”

(The man looks at me for a bit, then stands up in the same robotic manner he sat down with and gets off at the next stop.)

Me: “What the h*** just happened?”

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Making Tall Assumptions

, , , , | Friendly | December 18, 2017

(I’ve been tall all my life so I’m always mistaken as older. I’m used to it. My wife and I are grocery shopping and she goes off to another aisle to get something. The youngest my wife has ever been mistaken for is 19.)

Stranger: “Your daughter doesn’t look much like you.”

Me: “She’s not my daughter.”

Stranger: “Oh. Sister?”

Me: “No, she’s my wife.”

Stranger: *appalled* “You’re not old enough to be married!”

Me: “But I’m old enough to have a kid her age?”

Stranger: “Well… I guess not… But you’re so tall, so you must be older. And the pink hair, but that means you’re younger. Wait, then that means you’re gay. You’re not old enough to be gay!”

(I just rolled my eyes and walked away. I wonder what the stranger would have thought about the wine I later bought. And for the record, my wife and I are both 26.)

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Hunger Is Binary

, , | Friendly | December 18, 2017

(I am sitting on the train waiting for it to depart, when a man I’ve never seen before boards.)

Stranger: “Hello, good morning. How are you doing?”

Me: “Good morning. I am doing fine, thank you. How about yourself?”

Stranger: “Ah, not so good. I haven’t eaten in almost a day. Would you perhaps have a Euro or two to spare?”

Me: “Unfortunately I do not. However, if you’d like I have a sandwich you could have.”

Stranger: “What kind of sandwich?”

Me: “A yes or no sandwich. Yes for hungry, no for not hungry.”

(He just gave me a stupid look for a few seconds until going away to ask the next person if they had money for him. Unfortunately, she had heard the exchange and was too busy laughing.)

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Got To Have Thick Skin For These People

, , , , | Friendly | November 26, 2017

(I suffer from psoriasis and so my knees often appear scraped up and scabbed over. Most people who don’t know my skin condition assume I’ve fallen and hurt myself, which doesn’t bother me. This assumption, though, I just can’t even fathom. I am sitting at a park watching my siblings play when someone comes up and asks me this gem:)

Stranger: “Excuse me. But do you have leprosy?”

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Who Has To Die For You To Leave Me Alone?

, , , , , | Friendly | November 24, 2017

(I am shopping with my mother for funeral attire since my father just passed away two days ago. We are quietly doing our own shopping on opposite sides of the store. Employees at this store must dress formally, while I am wearing a sweatshirt that reads “I Can’t Adult Today,” ripped jeans, and gym shoes. A random lady is watching me for a couple minutes, but I figure she’s just visually browsing the clothing behind me on the wall. I am checking out some black blouses when she approaches me.)

Customer: “That isn’t very appropriate, is it?”

Me: *glancing around* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Your shirt!”

Me: “What about it?”

Customer: “It is not appropriate!”

Me: “Okay.” *turns to walk away to go browse elsewhere because this lady is freaking me out*

Customer: *following me* “I don’t think you should be wearing that at work!”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Sure, you don’t.”

Me: “No, I really don’t. Leave me alone.”

(I am a very blunt person, so I immediately turn my back to her and go on shopping.)

Customer: *holding a shirt literally inches from my face* “Well, do you at least have this in a size medium?”

Me: “Listen, lady. I do not work here. I never have worked here. I never will work here. I am 22 years old; all the employees here are at least 40 years old. I work in a hospital, and I am trying to find a dress for my father’s funeral. Leave. Me. Alone!”

(The customer’s face turned red and she scurried away.)

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