You’re Tatooine Trouble Now
(I’m a stormtrooper, and I’ve been posted on some backwater planet in the outer-rim to look for some stupid droids. The descriptions are quite vague, “One R2 unit with a hero complex, and one Protocol Droid, possibly a couple,” so we’re stopping all people travelling through to the port. I stop a speeder that happens to have two droids matching this exact description. I talk to the young driver and his grandpa.)
Me: “Let me see your identification.”
Grandpa: *waves his hand* “You don’t need to see his identification.”
Me: *suddenly feeling strange* “We don’t need to see his identification.”
Grandpa: “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”
Me: “These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.”
Grandpa: “He can go about his business.”
Me: “You can go about your business.”
Grandpa: “Move along.”
Me: “Move along… Move along.”
(After they leave I turn to my co-worker.)
Coworker: “What the h***, dude! Those were TOTALLY the droids we were looking for!”
Me: “They were?”
Coworker: “All I know is, when the Big-Badassmatic wants to know who let the droids go, I’ll make sure YOU’RE the stormtrooper he’s looking for!”