The Best Education Freedom Can Buy

| USA | Friendly | May 15, 2015

(I’m shopping at a thrift shop and I overhear one high-school girl talking to another.)

Customer: “…being as we’re the only free country in the world.”

Me: “…”

Trying To Make A Belieber Out Of You

| IA, USA | Related | April 14, 2015

(I am not a fan of Justin Bieber. Quite the opposite, in fact. I will make a point to actively ignore the music if a public place has one of his songs on, and am just very against him as a person in general. I’m in a store with my dad when ‘Baby’ comes on, but I don’t recognize the intro, so I subtly dance to it while walking.)

Dad: “You do realize this is Justin Bieber, right?”

Me: *stops dancing immediately* “OH, MY GOD I THOUGHT IT WAS TAYLOR SWIFT!”

The UK Is OK

| FL, USA | Friendly | March 6, 2015

(I’m on holiday with my girlfriend. We are currently doing some gift shopping for family back home and talking about who might like what, when a girl who is about seven comes up to us.)

Girl: “Why do you talk funny? Are you from the west coast or something?”

Me: “Um…”

Girlfriend: “We’re a bit further away than that. We come from England.”

Girl: “Is that in Canada?”

Girlfriend: “A little further.”

Girl: “Mexico?”

Girlfriend: “Even further.”

Girl: *with amazement* “You’re from space?! MUMMY! I found aliens!”

Mother: “Sorry about her; she’s so curious.”

Girlfriend: “That’s okay. Will be a good story when we get home!”

(We then talked for an hour and got a little tour round the area, with the girl telling everyone she knew that we were aliens.)

Has Been Wii-jected

| MD, USA | Romantic | March 4, 2015

(We’re expecting our first child and looking at baby things when my husband spots a $4,500 TV. He is mostly joking in the conversation.)

Husband: “Ooooh, I need this.”

Me: “For what, exactly?”

Husband: “It’ll be awesome to play Wii-U on it.”

Me: “We don’t have a Wii-U…”

Husband: “We should get one… and this TV… because… the baby would like them?”

Me: “No. Rejected.”

Husband: “What?! You can’t reject genius!”

Me: “Just did. REJECTED.”

Husband: “Fine, well, I’m only talking to the baby now.”

Me: “The baby can’t hear you!”

(It should be noted that we don’t know the gender or have any names picked out.)

Husband: “NOT TALKING TO YOU. So… Baby… How awesome is this TV?”

Me: “Oh, for crying out loud!”

Husband: “NOT TALKING TO YOU.”

Me: *in a baby alien voice* “I hate it. I agree with Mom. I think it’s financially irresponsible to drop that kind of money on a TV.”

Husband: “But think of the educational value of a Wii-U!”

Me: *weird voice* “You’re saying you’d let me play on your Wii-U?”

Husband: “Uh… well… not immediately. Listen, in order to be a good dad, I gotta take care of my needs and I need a Wii-U.”

Me: *facepalm*

This Prank Is Pregnant With Potential

| MI, USA | Related | January 14, 2015

(I’m shopping with my mother. She sees a shirt she thinks I’d like.)

Me: “Yuck! That style always makes me look pregnant.”

Mom: “I’ll buy it for you if you promise to wear it next time you see [Boyfriend]’s mom!”

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