Giving Them The Gift Of Your Wisdom

, , , , | Right | December 25, 2018

(It’s Christmas time, and a customer is purchasing a gift card for my store and putting at least $50 on it.)

Customer: “So, is this returnable?”

Me: “The gift card?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but gift cards can’t be returned.”

Customer: “But this is a Christmas gift! What if my friend doesn’t like [Store]?”

Me: “Has she shopped here before?”

Customer: *huffy* “No, and neither have I.”

Me: “In that case, maybe you should get her a gift card to a place you know she likes? I know lots of credit card companies are now selling gift cards that can be used at a ton of different stores. Or you could just give her the money?”

Customer: “That’s so impersonal!”

Me: “So is giving a friend a gift card to a place you don’t even know they’ll like!”

Getting Bent Out Of Shape

, , , , , | Right | October 29, 2018

(I worked at a store that caters to both regular and plus-sized women. I am naturally petite and fairly thin, and at that point still new, so I don’t know everything about certain garments. A large woman asks me for help picking out shapewear.)

Woman: *looking at two drastically different types of shapewear* “Which of these will work better for me?”

Me: “Well, it depends on what you need them for. This one is good for smoothing you out under your dress, while this one is good for supporting your thighs.”

Woman: “Yes, but which would you wear? I need it for a wedding.”

Me: “Well, I can’t personally vouch for them, since I’ve never worn those types, but it really depends on the dress you’re wearing and what you consider your problem areas. Like, with some clingy dresses, I have to wear shapewear to suck in my stomach.”

Woman: “Oh, what do you know? You’re just a skinny mini!” *flounces away*

Me: “But… then why did you ask me?”

Winter Is Coming…

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2018

(It’s the Fourth of July and I’m working the register. A woman in her mid-50s comes up to me.)

Customer: “Where are your winter coats?”

Me: *taken aback* “What?”

Customer: “Your winter coats! I’m looking for them.”

Me: “Um, well, we’re not selling any right now. You’re welcome to check the 70%-off rack, since that’s from last winter, but other than that, I’m afraid they won’t be in for a while.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! I know you get the seasons in early.”

Me: “It’s true, we do get clothing for each season in early, but it’s July.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “So… we won’t even be getting the fall stuff until the end of this month.”

Customer: “Well, then, where am I supposed to get a winter coat?”

Me: *trying to be helpful* “Well, I’m sure you could check [Thrift Store] in [Town ten miles away]. They should have out-of-season stuff.”

Customer: *angry* “I don’t drive! I need something here!”

Me: “Okay, well, you could check [Famous Outdoor Sporting Company]. I know they ship right to your house.”

Customer: “I don’t want to order anything! I want something here!

Me: “Well, unfortunately, we don’t have any winter coats except what few are left on clearance.”

Customer: “But why don’t you have anything now?

Me: *fed up* “Because it’s July.”

(The woman storms out. My manager comes over, having seen her leave angrily.)

Manager: “What was that about?”

Me: “She was mad because we didn’t have any winter coats.”

Manager: “Did you tell her to check the clearance racks?”

Me: “Yup. She was mad we didn’t have new ones.”

Manager: “But… it’s July.”

Me: “Believe me, I know.”

Flowering With Too Many Possibilities

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2018

(A little old lady approaches me as I’m working in our small petite department.)

Lady: “Hello! I’m looking for a petite shirt I saw online. Could you help me find it?”

Me: “Of course! We don’t get everything online in the store, but if it’s here, we’ll find it.”

(I start going through the racks.)

Me: “What’s it look like?”

Lady: “It’s floral.”

(I pause for a second. Please note, it’s spring in a woman’s clothing store. Everything’s floral.)

Me: “Okay, what color is it?”

Lady: “It’s floral.”

Me: “Um, okay, but are there any prominent colors? Maybe green, blue, pink?”

Lady: “It’s floral.”

(Giving up, I proceed to show her every floral shirt in the department. She rejects each one, and every time I ask for more to go on, she replies, “It’s floral.”)

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but it doesn’t look like we carry the shirt you’re looking for. We can order it for you online, if you like.”

Lady: “What? Why don’t you have it?”

Me: “Well, we’re a fairly small store, and our petite department is especially small. We can’t fit everything online in here.”

Lady: “But… it’s floral!

Two Minutes Of Grief

, , , , | Right | December 24, 2017

(It’s Christmas so everyone closes at 5:00 pm. After the initial shopping rush earlier in the day, the store has been dead. Because of this, though usually a stickler for closing times, my manager decides to lock the doors at 4:55. As we are doing our cleaning and closing duties, there’s a rap on the door. As it is now 4:58, my manager allows me to ignore it. At 5:05, the phone rings, and she answers.)

Manager: “Hello, thank you for calling [Store].”

Customer: “Your sign said you were closing at 5:00 pm but I got here at 4:58 and your door was locked!”

Manager: “Oh, that was you? I’m so sorry about that!”

Customer: “I wanted to pick up a present for someone, but your door was locked! I know you people want to get home, but I have things to do, too!”

Manager: “Again, I’m so sorry. If you’re still in the parking lot, we can let you in and let you get your gift.”

Customer: “I’m not.”

Manager: “You’re not what?”

Customer: “I’m not in the parking lot. I’m on the highway. I’m not turning around.”

Manager: “Well, then, I’m really not sure what I can do for you.”

Customer: “I’m just so angry! You shouldn’t have locked up early!”

Manager: “Again, I’m sorry, but if you’re not here there’s nothing I can do for you.”

(The customer hangs up.)

Manager: “Sigh. The one time I decide to close up early, and this happens.”

Me: “Honestly, if she’s shopping for someone’s gift at 5:00 pm on Christmas Eve, they’re not that important to her.”

Manager: “Good point. Let’s go home.”

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