Spent More Time On The Bar Than The Barcode

, , , , , | Right | March 7, 2019

(I often find myself put on the self-service and scan-as-you-shop department on my own, which is incredibly frustrating in itself. When dumb people come through it only enhances my frustration. A drunk woman comes through the self-service area with a four-pack of cider.)

Customer: “Can you help me, love? I’ve never used these.” *a lie I hear on a regular basis from people who’re too drunk to remember I’ve helped them before with self-service*

Me: “With the barcode, scan the item in front of the glass and put it on the scales in the bagging area.”

Customer: “Do what?”

Me: “Scan the item with its barcode in front on the glass and put it on the scales.”

Customer: “Scan it where?”

Me: “In front of the glass.”

Customer: “Then what?”

Me: “Put it on the scales.”

Customer: “How do I scan it?”

Me: *getting more frustrated* “With the barcode.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “In front of the glass panel.”

Customer: “Where’s the barcode?”

(Totally pissed, I speak in an angry tone and poke her cans of cider hard with my finger at the barcode.)

Me: “It’s there!”

Customer: *looks at me like I’ve just kicked her mother* “All right. I’m not thick.”

Me: “Could’ve fooled me.”

Welcome To Gotham 411

, , , , , | Right | July 24, 2018

Me: “Good afternoon. You’re through to [Company]. How can I help?”

Caller: “How come Batman can’t fly?”

Me: “Batman cannot fly because he does not have any super powers.”

Caller: “Oh. I feel sorry for him.” *click*

Me: “What?”