Ranger Danger!

, , , , , | Working | May 23, 2018

(I am working as a park ranger in a state park when one day another new ranger and I are tasked with cleaning up a section of a river. A great deal of trash has washed down the river and has collected on the banks. We are sent down with a truck and trash bags to clean everything up. About an hour into the project, my coworker starts loudly sighing and moving at a snail’s pace.)

Coworker: “Is this good?”

Me: “Huh?”

Coworker: “Is this good enough? Can we stop?”

(I look around. There is still a great deal of trash around us. This is a popular hiking area and the public is often in this area. Things still look awful.)

Me: “Uh, no. We can’t stop until all the trash in the water is picked up.”

Coworker: “But won’t it just get washed down?”

Me: “What? What do you mean?”

Coworker: “If we leave it, won’t it just get washed away? What’s the point of picking it up?”

(I am shocked by what this park ranger has just said.)

Me: “God, no! If this washes down, it will spread to other parts of the river and eventually get into the bay! Why would that be a good idea?”

Coworker: “Then it wouldn’t be our problem!”

(I have no idea how this person got hired with ideas like that floating around in their head.)

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Kayyakking On About The Forms

, , , , | Right | May 22, 2018

(I am hired at the local state park to rent out boats to customers to use to paddle around the river. I am approached by a man and his two kids, a young girl and a younger boy.)

Man: “May we have a kayak?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. Just go up to the front of the boathouse there and they’ll help you.”

(That’s literally what we need to say, because customers have to fill out a bit of paperwork in order to get in a boat in case they get lost. The man and his kids walk up to the front and they leave my sight. They come back a few minutes later.)

Me: “Hey, did you get everything filled out?”

Man: *long pause* “Yes.”

Me: “All right! Go ahead and get your life jackets, and I’ll get you in the water.”

(They did so, I let them in, and all that. They paddled around in the kayaks for an hour and got back out, and I was bewildered to find they just wanted to leave instead of actually paying. What I didn’t know is that the man and his kids went to the front of the boathouse, saw the huge line they had, and decided they didn’t want to wait! If any park ranger had found out about that, we’d be in huge trouble! But the real frosting on the cake? He expected the kayak rentals to be free. I made him fill out the paperwork and pay like all the other customers, and he left looking pretty sad he had to do that.)

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