Literally Sick Of Your Apathy

, , , , | Healthy | January 17, 2019

(I get very severely sick: throwing up anything I try to keep down and having constant diarrhea. I can barely keep juice down. This is exacerbated by the fact I have costochondritis — the cartilage in my ribcage gets inflamed and swells when I get sick, causing mind-numbing amounts of pain. After three days of this, my family forces me to at least go the local triage center if I won’t go to the doctor. I manage to check in with no problem; there are only a few people there so I figure I’ll get seen pretty quickly. An hour passes with people who were there before me and who came AFTER I came in getting in to see the doctors before me. I’m annoyed but hey, they might have seriously bad injuries I can’t see. Then my stomach lurches and I realise I’m all of a minute away from throwing up again.)

Me: *painfully walking up to the desk holding my ribs and stomach trying not to vomit* “I need the bathroom key.”

Receptionist: *doesn’t even look up from her computer* “No, you don’t. Sit down.”

Me: “I am literally about to projectile vomit. I need the bathroom key now.”

Receptionist: “Sit down. It’ll pass.”

(I barely manage to take another step before I’m forced to bend over and vomit stomach acid and bile on the floor in front of two kids and their mother.)

Woman: “Oh, my god!” *rushes over rubbing my back* “Oh, my god. Are you okay, sweetie?”

Me: *crying and gagging* “Sorry! Sorry, oh, god. I didn’t mean it!” *throws up again*

Woman: “[Son]! Get her some tissues and wipes out of my bag!” *to me* “Oh, it’s okay sweetie; you couldn’t help it.”

(The woman and her son managed to help me clean myself up while the two receptionists did nothing. The nice woman helped me sit down again; after ten minutes someone put a slip hazard over the puddle of my vomit but didn’t bother even trying to clean up. Despite that, it still took another hour for me to finally get seen to and just got some painkillers tossed at me, while told I was imagining my costochondritis and to drink fluids.)

Pop Goes Your Intention

, , , , , , , , | Learning | September 16, 2017

(A student walks into the cafeteria. This student’s family owns numerous local pizza restaurants.)

Student: *to cafeteria worker* “I brought this pastry from home. Can you toast it in your toaster?”

Cafeteria Worker: “If I bring a frozen pizza from home into your uncle’s restaurant and ask him to heat it up in the oven, will he do that for me?”

Student: “Well, no.”

Cafeteria Worker: “Then I guess you’re out of luck.”

Loan Me A Helpful Answer

, , , , | Learning | August 2, 2017

(I’m getting ready for a semester abroad but haven’t received my loans yet. I’m only a couple weeks away from leaving and anxiously call my school’s financial department.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name plus all my relevant information]. I’m supposed to be getting [Loan] for this upcoming semester and I thought I was supposed to get it already. Could you tell me when it’s supposed to come in?”

Rep: “Loans aren’t going to be distributed until [Date a week into my abroad semester].”

Me: “Yeah, here’s the thing. I’m doing a semester abroad and it needs to be paid in a week, plus I still need to get my ticket. I was told when I talked to your department months ago that I would receive it by now and it’s still not in. Why isn’t it coming in?”

Rep: “All financial aid isn’t going to be distributed until [Date].”

Me: “Except I was assured that I would have my money by now because I’m doing a semester abroad, and the semester in [City] starts before the semester here, which means I’m supposed to get my money earlier! That’s what I was told by the study abroad office AND the financial aid office.”

Rep: “Well, it’s not going to be sent out until [Date].”

(We go back and forth for a while.)

Rep: “Why don’t you just pay for it yourself and use the loan to pay yourself back?”

Me: “If I could pay for it out of pocket, I wouldn’t need a loan!”

(I hung up and called back after I cooled off. Thankfully, the second call connected me to someone who actually was able to help.)

It’s The Prints-able Of The Thing

, , , , , | Learning | June 27, 2017

(For some reason, the members of my thesis committee want hard copies of my entire thesis, even though I e-mailed them a digital file of it in order to avoid wasting paper. My thesis is over 70 pages, and with three members on my committee plus the program coordinator plus a representative from the Graduate Studies Office, that’s a lot of printing, which I’m expected to pay for out of my own pocket. Nonetheless, I go to the library to start printing. The printer seems to work fine, until it stops printing near the end of a copy. I go to the technician on duty.)

Me: “Excuse me, but the last 12 pages of this document didn’t print.”

Technician: *checks paper levels, ink levels, looks at the printing queue* “There’s nothing wrong with the printer.”

Me: “…”

Technician: “…”

(It takes me a bit to process how illogical it is to say there’s nothing wrong with the printer when clearly, there is something wrong with the printer.)

Me: “Well, I’m missing 12 pages of this document. Did they maybe get thrown awa—”

Technician: *interrupting* “There’s nothing wrong with the printer.”

(Our library has a policy that if you send something to the printer and it doesn’t print the first time, you can re-send it and the technician will print it out for you at no charge.)

Me: “…okay. If I try sending them to the printer again, will they print for free?”

Technician: “There’s nothing wrong with the printer!”

(At this point I’m mentally banging my head against a wall.)

Me: “Well, I sent the pages to the printer and they didn’t print. Can I try printing them again for free?”

Technician: *gives me a dirty look*

Me: “I think that’s the policy if they don’t print, right?”

Technician: *continues to glare at me*

(I have no clue what her problem is but I go and re-send the pages.)

Me: “I just sent them. It should be a 12-page Word document titled [Thesis].”

Technician: *gives me an impatient look*

Me: “Could you send them to be free-printed, please?”

Technician: *exasperated groan, hits the button for free print*

(The pages print fine, but I immediately go somewhere else to print the other copies. How hard is it to understand that just because you don’t know what the problem is, it doesn’t mean there isn’t a problem?)

Awkward For A Period

, , , , | Learning | June 26, 2017

(I’m a male but people often mistake me for a girl. It’s about fourth period and I’m feeling ill and ask to go to the nurse’s office. When I get there, this exchange happens.)

Nurse: “Hello! What’s the problem?”

Me: “I feel like throwing up and I’m kind of dizzy.”

Nurse: *without even checking my temperature or anything* “Are you on your period?”

Me: *open jawed in disbelief* “Um… I’m a boy…”

(About a minute of awkward silence passes.)

Nurse: “Oh! Well, you can lie down back here, then.”

(The nurse ended up letting me go home without even checking if I had a fever and my mother later received a very apologetic call from the school nurse.)

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