(The store I work at is a punk/gag retail store. Our customers generally range from the usual teenagers, to the occasional adult. We’re required to greet every guest as they enter the store and provide them with a promotion. It’s not uncommon for guests to completely ignore us. This happens to be one of those times.)

Me: “Hey, Welcome to [Store]. How are you?”

Customer: *ignores me*

(Once the customer is out of earshot, I turn to my store manager who has been standing beside me given the rather slow day.)

Manager: “I’m great; how are you?”

Me: “I’m good! Can I help you find anything?”

Manager: “No, just browsing.”

Me: “All right! Well, jewelry is buy one, get one half off! Feel free to ask if you have any questions.”

Manager: “Thank you!”

(We then parted ways and went about our business as if nothing ever happened.)

(I work as an admin. assistant at a local fire department. One of my duties is to issue burning permits for anybody wanting to burn brush. This happens over the phone.)

Caller: “Burning permit. Now.”

Me: “Due to the high winds we are not issuing burning permits at this time. You can call to check tomorrow and then come in to the station.”

Caller: “I can’t tomorrow. You need to make the wind stop. I pay your salary so you have to.” *slams down phone*

Me: “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”

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(A theme park guest and her son want to board a ride. I check the boy’s height to make sure he can ride it, but sadly he is about four inches too short.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Your son isn’t tall enough to ride.”

Guest: “What do you mean? Your sign says he can ride with a responsible person.”

Me: “The sign also says he must be a certain height to ride.”

Guest: “No, it doesn’t. Fix your sign now!”

(I take the guest and her son out to the entrance of the attraction, and show her word for word the ride requirements.)

Guest: “Well, this is outrageous!”

Guest’s Little Boy: “Gosh mom, can’t you read? Do you want me to die?!”

Guest: *storms off angrily*

Guest’s Little Boy: *to me, while being led away* “Have a good day! Bye!”

(A customer comes up to me while I’m stocking the shelves. She looks distraught.)

Me: “Ma’am, can I assist you in anything?”

Customer: “Yeah. My friend said he needs some more cheeseheads at his Super Bowl party. I can’t seem to find them. I found Cheese-Its, Cheese-Nips, but no heads. Where are they?”

Me: “Cheeseheads, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a nickname for Green Bay Packers fans.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, where can I find those?”

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