Giving A Pizza His Mind

, , , , | Right | April 9, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Would you like to try our two for $20 special today?”

Customer: “I hate my wife!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “She’s such a b****! I never did anything to deserve this. She’s so demanding and I can’t deal with it!” *continues ranting for a few minutes*

Me: “Sir, did you want to order a pizza?”

Customer: “No, I just needed someone to vent on.”

Me: “Oh. Well, I hope I helped.”

Customer: “It feels good to get that out! Have a good night.”

Me: “You too, sir!”

Customer: *click*

1 Thumbs
4,366

In(tentional) Sickness And In Health

, , , , , , | Healthy Right | March 14, 2010

(We respond to an unconscious diabetic. While my partner is treating the patient, I am asking the wife some questions.)

Me: “So, is your husband on any medications?”

(She lists the medications her husband is on, including insulin.)

Me: “And has he been compliant with those medications lately?”

Wife: “Nope.”

Me: “Do you know why not?”

Wife: “Well, we had a big fight last week, so I hid all his meds. He hasn’t found them yet.”


This story is part of our Diabetes roundup!

Read the next story in this roundup!

Read the Diabetes roundup!


Did you find this story using our Emergency Services roundup?

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
6,680

Coming Soon: My Big Fat Greek Divorce

, , , , | Right Romantic | March 12, 2010

(A man comes up to the box office with his wife.)

Customer: “Two tickets, please.”

Me: “Sure, what movie?”

(The customer just points at his wife. She does not notice.)

Me: “Uh, sir, I need to know which movie you’d like to see.”

(he continues to just point at his wife.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”

Customer: “She’s a Big, Fat, Greek Woman!”


This story is part of our Bickering Couple roundup!

Read the next Bickering Couple roundup story!

Read the Bickering Couple roundup!

1 Thumbs
2,939

Closing Early Has Grim Reaper-cussions

, , , , , , | Right | February 7, 2010

(The chain store has a pharmacy that closes at 7:00 pm. A couple is in my lane at 8:30 pm.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Not unless you can break into the pharmacy and get my wife’s prescription.”

Me: *chuckle* “Sorry, sir, I can’t do that.”

Customer: *completely serious* “She’s gonna die without it. Oh, well.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “It’s okay; she’s old enough to die anyway.”

1 Thumbs
2,527

To Have And To Hold On To The Remote

, , , , | Right | February 5, 2010

Customer: “I bought a TV from you last week, and one of my friends told me I need a universal remote control for it.”

Me: “Right. Was it a TV off display?”

Customer: “No, a new one in a box.”

Me: “Did you not get one in the box?”

Customer: “Yes, but the wife has that! If she’s sitting on one couch and I’m on the other couch and I want to change the channel, what is she supposed to do, throw it to me?”

Me: “You could ask her to change the channel for you.”

Customer: *chuckles* “That’s not how marriage works, son. I’ll just buy this one.”

Me: “Right, but if you both have a remote then you’ll keep changing the channel on each other and never see a full programme.”

Customer: *chuckles again* “Oh, son, one day you’ll learn how the world works.”


This story is part of our Bickering Couple roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Crazy Stories About Mothers-In-Law, And The Interesting Relationships We Have With Them

 

Read the next Bickering Couple roundup story!

Read the Bickering Couple roundup!

1 Thumbs
4,110