(My husband and I are doing some cleaning over the weekend when this happens.)

Husband: “Oh, and I threw out that one aluminum can earlier.”

Me: *curious* “Why would you do that? That would have gone in the recycling.”

Husband: *shrugs* “In this state, you don’t get five cents back like you do with other states, so there is really no point in recycling that if I’m not getting anything back for it.” *walks out of the kitchen*

Me: *glaring in his general direction, quietly to myself* “Are you serious?!”

(I then went back to finishing the dishes, having a pointed mental lecture with him about the point of recycling. I was also wondering why I was just now finding out about his views on recycling when we have been married for almost a decade.)

This story is part of our Recycling roundup!

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Read the Recycling roundup!

(I volunteer at an animal shelter. We have a man who has driven for an hour and a half to adopt a cat for his wife’s birthday as a surprise. He works in the mines 14 days on, 7 days off, so he usually does not go out on his days off, and apparently, his wife finds this suspicious. He receives a phone call just as he is finalising the paperwork. I cannot hear her end of the conversation.)

Man: *phone rings* “Oh, hello, honey. What’s up?” *wife speaks* “Oh, I am just out.” *wife speaks* “I just had some things to do.”

(His wife speaks a little louder.) 

Man: “Yeah, I know it’s my day off. I just had some things to get!”

(His wife speaks, if possible, louder.) 

Man: “All right, all right, all right! Woman, I’m getting you a birthday present!”

(There is silence for a moment before she speaks again.) 

Man: “No, I’m not going to tell you what it is!… No… No… NO!… If you keep guessing I am putting it back.”

(The kitten decides to meow at him at that moment. There is silence, and then an audible squeal comes out of the phone. He sighs.)

Man: “I will see you soon.” *hangs up* “So much for surprises.”

My husband is incredibly polite and a bit insecure and embarrassed about his body, so every time he has to fart around me it is followed by a minute or two of apologies and embarrassment. I have tried everything I can to make him feel more comfortable with it because it is a normal human thing and I’m grateful he is polite about it, but he should never feel gross or embarrassed.

One night he was asleep — he talks in his sleep and sometimes does things or walks, as well — and he farted… what followed was him feeling around in the dark for my hand and high-fiving me super hard. 

Just glad he found his confidence! 

Somehow me laughing my butt off for five minutes didn’t wake him up.

Related:
Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 19
Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 18
Can You Smell The Love Tonight, Part 17

(I’m a trans guy and have been with my cis male partner for ten years. He and I, along with his younger brother, are riding in the car and my partner is telling his brother a story about a friend of ours. We have lots of friends who are trans, and usually, we don’t differentiate, but sometimes gender identity is relevant to the story.)

Partner: “…so this other person — not a trans person, just a…” *slight pause* “…regular person…”

Me: *chuckling* “’Regular person,’ huh?”

Brother-In-Law: “Right?”

Partner: “Yeah, a regular person. You know, not a superhero.”

Me: “Good save!”

(My wife is nine months pregnant and is trying on new nursing bras in the bedroom. I’m sitting by the door, but in the living room.)

Wife: “Our bedroom smells like farts for some reason.”

Me: “Okaaaaay?”

Wife: “Wait, I think it’s just the plastic from my new bra.”

Me: “That… only raises more questions.”

(A few seconds later she comes out and basically pushes her chest in my face.)

Wife: “Random question: does my boob smell sulfury to you?”