Our country has been on lockdown since late March. It’s now mid-May, and we’ve only just had some of the severe — and incredibly necessary — restrictions lifted, meaning my lovely hairdresser is once again taking appointments.

By the time I get there, it will have been almost three and a half months since I last had my hair done. Not really a big deal, in the grand scheme of things, but I have noticed a few unwelcome changes.

I also have a running joke that I’m getting old, even though I’ve only just cracked thirty-one.

Me: “Oh, man, I’m so old, my greys are showing! Look!”

Partner: “I really can’t see anything.”

Me: “It’s right there!”

Partner: *Stares intently* “Don’t worry; that’s white, not grey.”

Me: “…”

Partner: “Uh, I mean…”

Me: “Yeah, that didn’t make it better, thanks.”

Partner: “No! It’s fine! You don’t even notice it!”

Me: “Mmm-hmmm.”

I totally don’t care — I’d love a white streak a la Claire Saffitz –but watching my partner trying to backtrack made me giggle which, during this rather scary time, is always welcome.

My boyfriend and I are both avid nerds — we met at a convention — and one of our favorite things to do together is cosplay, with him doing most of the prop-building and me doing most of the sewing.

As such, I’m delighted one year when he gets me a heavy-duty industrial steam iron for Christmas, as well as a gift card for my favorite fabric shop. When I’m talking about this at the family Christmas party, my sister is considerably less impressed.

Sister: “He got you an iron? How sexist can you get?”

Me: “Yeah, a really nice one that I probably wouldn’t have bought for myself, so we can get a cleaner finish on costume pieces. It’s a useful tool for a hobby I enjoy; what’s wrong with that?”

Sister: “It’s degrading! He expects you to iron his shirts for him?!”

Me: “Nah, I’ll be ironing cloaks and surcoats and costume pieces.”

Sister: “Same difference!”

Me: “Didn’t [Her Husband] get you a set of those Silpat baking mats for Christmas?”

Sister: “Yeah, I’m so excited to try baking with them! Why, what’s your point?”

Me: *Pause* “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

This story has been included in our June 2020 roundup as one of that month’s most memorable stories!

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I am checking the aisles, making sure sale items are fully stocked, when I overhear this coming from the next aisle:

Woman: “All right, you can get some candy… Go ahead, pick out what you want.”

I thought nothing of this, picturing a mother with her child, until I came into this aisle moments later. It was a retired couple, with the wife giving her older husband permission to get candy.

My cousin learned to speak French at an early age and developed a great interest in French culture. In her mid-twenties, she moved to France, fell in love with a French man, and married him.

A couple of years later, the two of them came back to Canada to visit, and a few of us went to the pub. My cousin perked up visibly as soon as the first pint of beer arrived in front of her, and she was obviously distracted from the conversation by the hockey game on the TV in the corner. Her husband, meanwhile, began to wilt more and more until he was almost pouting. When my cousin looked around and noticed this, she leaned over and the two of them had a brief conversation in French. After this, he didn’t look happy exactly but more resigned than miserable. 

Later, I asked her, “Hey, what was all of that about?”

She shrugged. “Oh, you know, when you’re married to an immigrant, you’re always worried that they miss their home country and they’ll never feel like their adopted culture is really home,” she explained. “When he saw me having fun at the pub in that really Canadian way, it sort of poked him in the insecurity, that’s all.”

“Okay, but what did you say to him?”

“Oh, something like, ‘My darling, I love you, and I love France. I wouldn’t be there with you if I didn’t. But no matter how true that is, I was still born in Canada, and the day that I don’t also love hockey and beer is the day you can put me in the ground.'”

This story has been included in our June 2020 roundup as one of that month’s most memorable stories!

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My husband and I are visiting Seattle. We approach the Seattle Monorail and my husband, who is a massive fan of The Simpsons, gets this big goofy grin on his face.

Husband: “Mono—”

Me: “Nope!”

He mock-sulks and I can hear him humming THAT song. A few moments later, we pass another couple.

Couple Husband: *Under his breath* “Monorail, monorail!”

I look at the wife.

Me: “You, too?”

The wife laughed. I did eventually let my husband sing the song on the monorail, and he later said it was one of the highlights of his day!

This story has been included in our June 2020 roundup as one of that month’s most memorable stories!

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