In the time before the plague, my husband and I used to be avid convention attendees. It was fun, both to dress up and see others in costume, and wherever we go, we always bring a digital camera with us, just so we don’t fill up our phones completely.

One year, on the third day of a three-day convention, we were on the signing floor, and my husband was waiting in line for a celebrity that I was not a fan of. Instead of waiting in line, I elected to go to the shop floor, digital camera in hand. On the way there, I spotted a trio of cosplayers dressed up as Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition and got their permission to snap a picture. I (purposely) never got around to telling my husband about it, and it was quickly buried by pictures of other costumes.

A week later, after we had both gotten home, my husband was going through the camera with a friend while I was working on something else in the same room. It was very rewarding when the running commentary that accompanied each picture suddenly stopped, and my husband looked over at me in surprise. “Well,” he said, “I wasn’t expecting this.”

Best prank I’ve ever pulled.

This story is part of our Best Of August 2020 roundup!

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This happened eight or nine years ago. I was at my parents’ house, since I had a planned get-together with my friends, when I got a frantic call from my husband that our house was on fire. Sadly, since we only had one car at the time, I couldn’t drive home myself. My dad offered to take me but my husband told me to wait and he’d come and get me. 

The fire had started in my mother-in-law’s room when a piece of clothing fell on top of a power strip. There were a few miracles that day. 

1. Her door to her bedroom was shut so the fire didn’t spread. 
2. No one was hurt, including our pets, though the one cat still has PTSD, we think. 
3. Nana didn’t go shopping that day even though Fridays were normally her shopping day with her friend.
4. Last but not least, even though the fire reached 1500 degrees according to the firemen, my mother-in-law’s Bible only had smoke damage even though everything else in the room was destroyed. 

She still has the Bible to this day.

This story is part of our feel-good roundup for August 2020!

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I am a wedding photographer. Usually, my wife comes along and assists me, but for this wedding, she says she has plans to go home and visit with her parents. When I get there, the groom keeps looking at me with an odd expression. I figure he is just nervous, so I do my job without comment.

At the reception, he approaches me.

Groom: “Hey, thanks for coming out today.”

Me: “No problem. Thanks for the work!” *Laughs*

Groom: “So, your last name is [My Last Name], right?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Groom: “Do you know [Wife]?”

Me: “Yeah, she’s my wife.”

Groom: “Oh. I thought you might be related. Is she here?”

Me: “Oh. Um… She usually comes along but she was busy today. Did you guys go to school together?”

Groom: “No, no. We dated a few years ago, right before [Bride] and I got together.”

Me: *Awkwardly* “Oh, okay. I don’t think she’s ever mentioned you.”

Groom: “Yeah, it was, like, five years ago. No big deal.”

The DJ calls the groom to the dance floor.

Groom: “Anyway, thanks for coming out!”

I finish the reception and go home to find my wife sitting on the couch, watching TV.

Wife: “Hi, honey. How was the wedding?”

Me: “It went well. The bride was beautiful. The groom was [Groom].”

My wife goes very still.

Wife: “Oh, that’s nice.”

Me: “Yeah. You know, it’s so weird… He said you dated five years ago.”

Wife: *Laughs nervously* “He’s obviously confused. I wasn’t even there!”

Me: “He asked about you by name.”

Wife: “Well—”

Me: “Get the f*** out of my house.”

We had a long, loud argument about her affair. Apparently, the groom knew my name because they were still in touch, and my wife hadn’t really gone home to her parents; she just didn’t want to be at the wedding and risk seeing him. Our divorce was finalized as soon as legally possible and I have zero contact with her.

My partner and I had a quick registry office wedding last week as our real wedding has been rescheduled to next year. We are now in the process for adjusting to being sort of married.

In conversation, my partner says something cheeky and I GLARE at him in a mock-aggressive warning. Something occurs to me, so I pull the expression again and point at my face.

Me: “Hey, [New Husband], what’s this?”

New Husband: “It’s… your face? Being annoyed?”

Me: “No, it’s a strong wife-eye signal.”

I love being married.

I take driver’s ed at a local high school with other teenagers. One is committed to being the class clown, and we all think he is doing pretty well at it. For example, after our teacher stresses that a green traffic light means go WHEN CLEAR, he asks what red means. The class clown calls out, “Stop when clear!”

One day, the classroom phone rings. The class clown is sitting closest and offers to answer it. The teacher obliges.

Class Clown: “Hello, [Teacher]’s room; this is [Class Clown]… Yes, that’s me. Oh, [Teacher] has mentioned me?”

Teacher: “Who is it?”

Class Clown: “Your wife.”

He continues the conversation with the teacher’s wife. The teacher walks over to the phone.

Teacher: “Here, let me have the phone.”

Class Clown: “She said she wants to talk to me.”

The teacher rolls his eyes and grabs the phone.

Teacher: “Right. Hi, honey, I— What? Um, okay.”

He then hands the phone back to the class clown.

Teacher: “She wanted to let me know what she was making for dinner tonight… and now she wants to talk to you again.”

The class clown and the teacher’s wife ended up talking another five or ten minutes. From the side of the conversation we could hear, it sounded like a pleasant one!