My husband is tired as it is late and we’ve been traveling most of the day. I didn’t realize how tired he was until this. We always take some cash and often have some left when we return from vacation. This trip, we actually spent very little of what we had withdrawn, and my husband decides he is going to deposit the money back into our account right away instead of waiting to go to the bank or ATM in the morning.

Husband: “I can’t find anywhere on the app to make a deposit.”

Me: “Oh, did someone send us a check while we were gone?”

Husband: “I’m trying to put back the money we didn’t use. I can’t figure out how to deposit cash.”

Me: “You’re serious?”

Husband: “Yes! Why don’t they have that option? This is really frustrating!”

I start laughing; I can’t help myself.

Me: “And just how were you planning on transmitting the bills to the bank, since you can’t just take a picture of them?”

My husband glares at me like I have two heads, as I try to stifle my giggles.

Husband: “What are you laughing about? It’s not funny!”

Suddenly, it seems to dawn on him what he is trying to do and his expression changes to one of defeat.

Husband: “Oh, never mind. I think I’ll go to bed now.”

Me: “Good idea!”

He made the deposit at the bank the following morning. I still find his lapse amusing: he does not.

During our dating days, my husband and I talk a lot. After our parents get introduced and approve of our relationship — yeah, that approval is kind of essential here — we are on the phone almost the entire day.

I have just finished college and my job is not starting for another few months, and my husband is self-employed, managing his father’s construction business. He has a separate business phone, so we do not have a problem being on the phone for the entire day. We take a break only when either of us goes to the bathroom or his business phone rings!

Whenever my mother wants to talk to me, she has to sign to me so that I can pause our talk and then talk to her. She finds it a bit amusing that we talk so much.

One evening, he comes to my place after work just to spend some time with me and my family. One thing leads to another and we start talking about our never-ending phone calls.

Mom: “You both are on a call almost always. I have never seen anyone talk this much.”

Husband: “Yeah, we like to spend time with each other. I can’t see her while at work, so it’s kind of nice being on the phone.”

Mom: “But what exactly do you both talk about? What do you have so much to discuss or share about? I’m not prying; I’m genuinely curious.”

Husband: “Do you watch TV serials?”

Mom is thrown off by this odd question.

Mom: “Yeah, a few of them. Why?”

Husband: “Yeah, can you tell me the story of any one of them?”

Mom: “…?”

Husband: “No, right?! Our talk is like that; it goes on for years, and you know the central plot but can’t really say what the story is all about!”

Starting the next day, my mom stopped attempting to talk to me while I was on calls with him! It has been twelve years since this incident; we still talk a lot. If we are not together, then we call each other at least once an hour and talk for a few minutes at least. Our families make good-natured fun of our phone conversations as the best running TV serial ever!

My husband is from England and I live in the USA, so after we get married, we begin the green card process. After about six months, we receive our interview invitation. When the day comes, we are seated with a stern-looking, middle-aged immigration agent who conducts our interview. We’re feeling a bit stiff and tense when he gets to the list of obligatory criminal background questions he has to ask my husband.

Agent: “Have you ever engaged in prostitution?”

Husband: “No.”

He then gets a look on his face that I know very well; he’s struggling not to make a joke. I try to signal, “DON’T YOU DARE!” with my eyes, but…

Husband: “I don’t think I’d be very good at it.”

There is a moment of silence. Then, the agent starts laughing.

Agent: “Fair enough! Let’s move on!”

The tension lifted, the agent finished the interview and told us to “have lots of babies,” and my husband is now on his way to becoming a permanent resident and then a US citizen!

I’m the handy one. My partner is not.

Me: “Hey! There’s an electric drill on sale!”

Partner: “So?”

Me: “So, it could be helpful when I need to hang things.”

Partner: “It’s not worth it. Don’t buy it.”

Me: “Only if you agree to drill the hole the next time.”

Partner: “Sure. It’s no big deal.”

A few months later, I buy a new coat rack.

Me: “Honey! It’s time to drill!”

Partner: “Okay.”

Ten minutes later:

Partner: “Why… didn’t… I buy… the drill?!”

My husband and I are on our way home from somewhere and stop at our local convenience store for a fountain drink. As per recent city bylaw, we are both wearing masks. As we leave, he starts complaining about other people in the store who aren’t masked.

Husband: “I don’t like wearing a mask either, but…” 

He continues into a long rant about how we’re supposed to wear them.

At this point, we’re in the car, and I’m struggling to put my seatbelt on while holding my drink.

Husband: “Hon, we’re only a few blocks from home; you don’t need to put on your seatbelt.”

He then continued with his rant about people not following the law. I decided not to point out the irony.