(My husband and I are having dinner with our three-year-old daughter.)
Husband: “I saw today that [Store] has gotten a new variety of [Toy].”
Me: “[Daughter] has enough toys.”
Husband: “Is that so? Do you have enough toys, [Daughter]?”
Daughter: “Yes!”
Husband: “Can I have that in writing?”
Daughter: “No!”
(This was before I was born. Dad has just come home with shopping bags.)
Mom: “Honey, can you check the oven while I put the groceries away?”
Dad: “Sure.” *checks* “There’s just a bun… Wait a second.”
(He turns around and sees Mom wearing the biggest and goofiest smile ever.)
Dad: “You mean…”
Mom: “Yup, I found out yesterday.”
Dad: “And you put a bun…”
Mom: “Uh-huh!”
(Dad kisses Mom on the forehead and laughs.)
Dad: “It’s gestures like these that remind me why I love you, my little cornball.”
(And this is how Mom told Dad about me. No wonder I love cheese so much!)
(It’s well known that when someone, usually my wife, asks, “Random question,” my immediate response, without hesitation, is, “42.” Usually, she responds with an eyeroll. This morning as I am making breakfast, a random thought hits me…)
Me: “Random question.”
Eight-Year-Old Son: “SIXTY-FOUR!” *he is a fan of the Beatles… so it’s an easy mistake to make*
Me: “No… the answer to everything is 42. Anyway, I had a random question.”
Eight-Year-Old Son: “FORTY-TWO!”
Me: “No… a random question for your mother.”
(My wife, a Spanish teacher, gets that glint in her eyes as it’s FINALLY her turn… but her mouth is full.)
Me: “I know… cuarenta y dos, but seriously, I just had a question.”
Wife: *immediately grabs her plate and walks into the bedroom closing the door*
Me: “But didn’t you want to hear the question?!”
(For those still curious, my random question was this… “Do helium tanks get heavier, or lighter as more helium is used out of them?”)
(My son has just reached the age where grabbing grown-up hair and faces is the most awesome thing ever. It is my husband’s turn to sleep in, and I am playing with the baby in the living room.)
Me: “OUCH, NO! Don’t grab that; that hurts. Let go. No. Ouch, ouch, ouch.”
(My husband comes out of the bedroom.)
Husband: “You should wear a scrunchie; that way he can’t grab you like that.”
Me: “Yes, dear, a scrunchie would totally stop him from trying to remove my eyeballs!“
Husband: “Well, yeah, you just wear it over your face like a visor; it’ll work great.”
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(It is Mother’s Day. My son is down for his nap and I decide to go do the dishes that are in the sink and sitting on the counter. As I’m collecting the cups, my husband walks over to me and says not to worry about one cup because he will wash it since he used it. I just can’t help myself. I look at him, then to the whole sink of dishes, then back to him again.)
Me: “Really? Oh, happy day! You’re going to wash one whole cup? Oh, my! This really is the best Mother’s Day ever!”
(By now he’s laughing so hard he can’t speak.)
Me: “Oh! Do you think for my birthday you would wash two whole cups? And three on Christmas?”
Husband: *laughing* “Shut up!”
Me: “One whole cup washed that I don’t have to worry about! Oh, my day has come!”
(He really couldn’t stop laughing. And I now have plans to ask him to wash one whole cup come my birthday, Labor Day, Christmas, and any other holiday I can think of. He really is a good husband! I just love messing with him.)
