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So Pho, So Crazy, Part 3

, | Right | November 26, 2012

(I work at a small snack bar in a sports center. We have just hired a new cook who is of Asian descent. I am on light duty, as I’d sprained my ankle the day before and the new guy stayed after he was scheduled to help. One of my regulars walks in, and when he sees the cooks he turns towards me with a disgusted look on his face.)

Customer: “What’s this? Since when did you guys start hiring [racial slur]?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Who is this [racial slur] they’ve got in the kitchen now? You gonna start serving egg rolls or something?”

Me: “Okay, number one, [coworker] is Vietnamese, not a [racial slur]. Not that it matters, because number two, he was born here, so therefore he’s an American. And number 3, I wish we would start selling egg rolls because [coworker] makes the best d*** egg rolls I’ve ever tasted. Now you can go buy your drink from one of the machines because your money isn’t welcome in here today.”

(The customer stands there with his mouth open in shock for a minute before he turns on his heels and walks out. My coworker walks out as he is leaving.)

Coworker: “Oh wow, what was his problem?”

Me: “He’s just mad because I refused to serve him any egg rolls.”

(Thankfully, the customer later approached my coworker and apologized.)

 

The Not-So-Difficult Art Of Misdirection

, , , , , | Right | June 3, 2008

Me: “Hello, [Fencing Club].”

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for some galvanized pipe.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I think you may be confused. This is a fencing club… You know, the sport. We don’t actually make fences.”

Customer: “Oh… You see, I’m making a cage for a parrot. Do you have any galvanized pipe?”

Me: “No, I don’t think you understand. We don’t have material for building fences; we do sword fighting here. It’s a sport. Foils, epees, sabres.”

Customer: “Oh, okay… It needs to be galvanized so that it won’t chip if the parrot bites it.”

Me: “I don’t think you’re following me. We don’t build fences here, and we don’t have pipe.”

Customer: “Oh, I see… You see, I need to make the cage for a movie set, and it needs to be galvanized so that it doesn’t chip if the parrot bites it.”

Me: *giving up* “Galvanized pipe, you say?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Try the Soccer Centre.”

Customer: “The Soccer Centre?”

Me: “Yeah, the Soccer Centre.”

Customer: “Thank you!”