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Has A Burning Desire To Stay

, , , , | Right | June 28, 2018

(I’m behind the till, helping clear a queue, when the fire alarm goes off. I tell the person I’m serving, who grabs her card and leaves. The shop I’m in is underground, beneath another store.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we have to evacuate the building.”

(I then go to make sure everyone is leaving, as I’m the third-most senior worker on this shift.)

Customer: “I want to buy these; can you serve me?”

Me: “Sorry, that’s the fire alarm; we have to evacuate the building.”

Customer: “I want to buy them.”

Me: “Leave them here, and you can buy them when we are allowed to return.”

(I then go around the store, shouting at the top of my voice, but still having to tell each customer individually. I end up having basically the same conversation with each of them, even though one coworker later says they could hear me from the other side of the shop. I notice that my coworker is struggling to be heard over the fire alarm.)

Coworker: “WE HAVE TO LEAVE THE BUILDING; JUST GET OUT OF THE CHANGING ROOM!”

(I tell her to leave, and I take over.)

Me: “Ma’am, that is the fire alarm; I don’t care what you’re wearing, but we have to leave.”

Customer: “I want to try this on.”

Me: “I am leaving now, before the ceiling collapses.”

(The woman leaves, and follows me upstairs. I find my manager by the stairs, trying to find me, and as we leave, I turn to her.)

Me: “That took a ridiculous amount of time; why do people care that much about tennis balls?”

This Manager Needs To Get Clubbed

, , , , , , | Working | December 8, 2017

I was working at a sports store and the owners hired a new manager. This manager had never worked at a sports store before but had previously managed a ladies’ shoe store.

Although I was just a worker, I was asked to teach the new manager about the store and about the equipment we sold. The manager was absolutely oblivious to what any equipment was; at one point he held up an elbow pad for hockey and asked if it was a knee pad. I explained to him what it was for, and continued training my new boss.

I left for lunch one day and left him on his own, and after I came back he left for his lunch. Shortly after, a man who was about 6’5″ came in and asked to purchase the clubs he had the manager put away earlier today.

The man gave me his name, so I went to the back of the store and found the clubs with his name on them. I came back out and asked him if the clubs were for his wife.

The man told me they were for him. I informed him that the clubs the manager was going to sell him were in fact ladies’ clubs and were way too small for him. The customer was upset about the fact that the manager didn’t know what he was doing. So, I found a set of clubs in the store that would work for him. The clubs were $300.00 more than the clubs the manager tried to sell him, so I gave him a $300.00 discount and the customer was happy.

When the manager came back, I asked him why he tried selling this tall man a set of ladies’ clubs. The manager said that he wasn’t aware that there was difference in clubs, so he just picked a set of clubs and told the customer they were good for him.

There are so many other examples of this manager’s lack of knowledge. With him at the helm, the store only stayed open for another four months, at which time they went belly-up.

Not In Receipt Of The Correct Answer

, , , , | Right | October 4, 2017

(I work as a cashier, and have a particularly rude customer in my line.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt with you or in the bag?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “I asked you a question with more than one answer: with you or in the bag?”

Customer: “I said YES!”

Me: “Okay, but I asked a question that doesn’t require a yes or no; it requires an actual choice.”

Customer: “Oh, my God! Just give me the d*** receipt!”

It’s Like He’s Half Awake(boarding)

| Right | March 11, 2017

I am on the management team of a large sporting goods store. I also have a neighbor with a boat who lets me come along on occasion to wakeboard.

During one of our wakeboard sessions his buddy tells me that last time he was in my store to buy a wakeboard handle and rope, the cashier thought they were a set and failed to charge him for the handle. I’m thinking this guys is an idiot for admitting this to me, but since I’m a guest on the boat I’ll just call it water under the bridge and not make a stink about it.

Flash forward a few weeks. I’m at work and get called to customer service to approve a return. It’s the buddy, and he’s got the handle that he admitted to me he stole, and he wants to exchange it because the grip is ripping. He even confirms those facts when I ask him specifically if this is handle he admitted to me he didn’t pay for.

Still an idiot.

I kept the handle. He walked away with a blank stare. I don’t get to go wakeboarding any more.

Has No Hang-Ups About Hanging Up

| Right | February 25, 2017

(I am serving a customer at the changing rooms in our store. The phone rings and before I can pick it up a customer answers.)

Customer: *on the phone* “No, we can’t help you.” *hangs up the phone*

(The customer then walked away as if nothing had even happened. The customer on the phone called back and abused me for 15 minutes about rude staff hanging up on him.)