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The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving

| Lafayette, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Popular

(Most purchases at my store are usually between $100 and $300. The higher purchases are usually for firearms and ammunition. Customers can place any amount they want on our gift cards, but those amounts usually vary between $20 and $100. One day, a customer comes up to my register with a cart full of fishing gear, including two $300 coolers. I ring him up.)

Me: “That’ll be [amount over $1500].”

(He smiles and hands me a gift card. He has a whole stack of them in his hands. I hold out my hand for the rest, but he holds onto the stack. I scan the first card, which takes $250 off his purchase.)

Me: “Okay, you owe [amount over $1250].”

(He smiles and hands me a second card.)

Me: Okay, now you owe [amount over $1000].

(He smiles and hands another card.)

Me: “[Amount over $750].”

(I am gathering a stack of used gift cards on top of my register at this point, and we’re only halfway through the stack still in his hands. He hands me the next card.)

Me: “[Amount over $500].”

(He hands me another card.)

Me: “[Amount over $250].”

(He hands me his second-to-last card.)

Me: “[Amount around $50.]”

(He hands me his last card. By this point, we’re both laughing.)

Me: “And you have [amount around 200] left on this card.” *I hand him his last gift card and a receipt.* “Have a good one!”

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License To Be An A**-Hole

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work the knife display and license-sale counter at a well-known sporting goods store. We are currently having problems with our state-issued fishing and hunting license printer, so there is a huge sign on both accessible sides of the counter informing customers that we cannot sell any licenses at this time. I am currently assisting a young lady who is looking for a knife for her husband’s birthday when a man walks up and strikes the other side of the counter behind me with his fist.)

Me: *turning to him, startled* “I will be right with you, sir.”

Male Customer: “You d***-well had better be. I am not going to wait here all day for service!”

Female Customer: *sensing an issue* “It’s fine if you want to help him first; I am still choosing, anyway.”

Me: *to Male Customer* “Yes, sir, how may I help you today?”

Male Customer: *waving his ID in my face* “Well, this is the license counter, ain’t it? So OBVIOUSLY I want a LICENSE, don’t I?”

Me: *pointing to the poster size sign he is currently standing right in front of* “I apologize, sir, but we cannot issue licenses at this time. The closest license retailer to us is on [Road five minutes away].”

Male Customer: *cramming his wallet back in his pocket* “You just don’t know how to print a f***ing license. Where’s someone else to help?”

Me: “Sir, you can have one issued to you on [Road five minutes away] by [Sister Store] or by [Competitor Store on same road]. We cannot print any licenses at this time. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Male Customer: “I ain’t goin’ to [Road five minutes away] and I sure as s*** ain’t going to [Sister Store]. Where. Can. I. Get. A license. TODAY?!”

Me: “Sir, the closest place you can get one is [Road five minutes away] at [Sister Store] OR at [Competitor Store on same road].”

Male Customer: “Do you not understand…? Y’know what, NEVER MIND!” *storms away*

Me: “Have a great day!”

Male Customer: *shouting* “F*** YOU!”

Female Customer: *flabbergasted* “Does he know you work around knives? I would cut his balls right off!”

He’ll Get It Slower Than A Speeding Bullet

| SC, USA | Bigotry

(I am working the firearm counter at a well known sporting goods store. It is early in the morning, so I’m cleaning the cases when a man approaches.)

Man: “Hey, honey. You got anyone working at these here guns?”

(I assume he thinks I’m maintenance since I’m cleaning.)

Me: “Yes, sir, I am. What can I help with today?”

Man: *guffaw* “No, honey. I need someone who can sell me one’a these here guns.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am certified to do that. What were you interested in?”

Man: *looks visibly uncomfortable* “You ain’t got nobody else here?”

Me: “No. We usually only have the one person in the morning. Can I help you with something?”

Man: “I need a .22.”

Me: “We have several in stock of different manufacturers.”

Man: “I’m looking for a .22, honey. It’s a rifle.”

Me: *becoming annoyed* “Yes, I know. Which manufacturer or model are you interested in?”

Man: “I’ll just come back by when y’all got someone working who knows what I’m lookin’ fer.”

Me: “Sir, none of our employees are telepathic. If you don’t know what you want, chances are that we won’t either!”