License To Be An A**-Hole

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work the knife display and license-sale counter at a well-known sporting goods store. We are currently having problems with our state-issued fishing and hunting license printer, so there is a huge sign on both accessible sides of the counter informing customers that we cannot sell any licenses at this time. I am currently assisting a young lady who is looking for a knife for her husband’s birthday when a man walks up and strikes the other side of the counter behind me with his fist.)

Me: *turning to him, startled* “I will be right with you, sir.”

Male Customer: “You d***-well had better be. I am not going to wait here all day for service!”

Female Customer: *sensing an issue* “It’s fine if you want to help him first; I am still choosing, anyway.”

Me: *to Male Customer* “Yes, sir, how may I help you today?”

Male Customer: *waving his ID in my face* “Well, this is the license counter, ain’t it? So OBVIOUSLY I want a LICENSE, don’t I?”

Me: *pointing to the poster size sign he is currently standing right in front of* “I apologize, sir, but we cannot issue licenses at this time. The closest license retailer to us is on [Road five minutes away].”

Male Customer: *cramming his wallet back in his pocket* “You just don’t know how to print a f***ing license. Where’s someone else to help?”

Me: “Sir, you can have one issued to you on [Road five minutes away] by [Sister Store] or by [Competitor Store on same road]. We cannot print any licenses at this time. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Male Customer: “I ain’t goin’ to [Road five minutes away] and I sure as s*** ain’t going to [Sister Store]. Where. Can. I. Get. A license. TODAY?!”

Me: “Sir, the closest place you can get one is [Road five minutes away] at [Sister Store] OR at [Competitor Store on same road].”

Male Customer: “Do you not understand…? Y’know what, NEVER MIND!” *storms away*

Me: “Have a great day!”

Male Customer: *shouting* “F*** YOU!”

Female Customer: *flabbergasted* “Does he know you work around knives? I would cut his balls right off!”

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He’ll Get It Slower Than A Speeding Bullet

| SC, USA | Bigotry

(I am working the firearm counter at a well known sporting goods store. It is early in the morning, so I’m cleaning the cases when a man approaches.)

Man: “Hey, honey. You got anyone working at these here guns?”

(I assume he thinks I’m maintenance since I’m cleaning.)

Me: “Yes, sir, I am. What can I help with today?”

Man: *guffaw* “No, honey. I need someone who can sell me one’a these here guns.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am certified to do that. What were you interested in?”

Man: *looks visibly uncomfortable* “You ain’t got nobody else here?”

Me: “No. We usually only have the one person in the morning. Can I help you with something?”

Man: “I need a .22.”

Me: “We have several in stock of different manufacturers.”

Man: “I’m looking for a .22, honey. It’s a rifle.”

Me: *becoming annoyed* “Yes, I know. Which manufacturer or model are you interested in?”

Man: “I’ll just come back by when y’all got someone working who knows what I’m lookin’ fer.”

Me: “Sir, none of our employees are telepathic. If you don’t know what you want, chances are that we won’t either!”

Never Too Late To Ask For A Discount

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work in a small sporting goods store where we allow customers to demo certain products before purchase. They sign a form agreeing to bring them back within a week or be subject to late fees. This customer slipped through the cracks and was 4 weeks late. I decided to call and give him one day to return our products before we charged him.)

Me: “Hello, sir! My name is [My Name]. I’m calling from [Company]. I’m calling about a couple of demos you have out from us.”

Customer: “Hmm? Oh, yes! I do have those!”

Me: “Yes, sir. You are actually four weeks late on returning them. I wanted to remind you that our store policy is to charge your card for late returns, but if you can get them back to me by the end of tomorrow, I won’t charge you for it.”

Customer: “Oh, ok. I was actually going to buy one of them.” *he proceeds to tell me which one* “How much does it cost?”

Me: “The price on that one is $189.00.”

Customer: “Oh, wow. And can I have a discount on that?”

Can’t Compete With Common Sense

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(My supervisor is filling in for a cashier. A customer checking out hands him a coupon from one of our competitor stores. Corporate has recently told us we can only match it if we have a similar coupon running, which we don’t for this one.)

Customer: “You ALWAYS take competitor coupons!”

Supervisor: “Unfortunately, sir, we can’t honor this one.”

Customer: “Well, what’s stopping me from taking this coupon and buying this same item from THEIR store?”

Supervisor: “What a novel idea.”

(The customer walked out without another word.)

That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket, Part 2

| UK | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Military, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am a customer. I witness an argument at one of the tills over a false label on an expensive cricket set. It appears as though the label has been attached by the customer. It is obviously written in green felt tip and not real.)

Customer: “Why won’t you give me the discount?”

Employee: “Because this is obviously a fake label.”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A SCAM ARTIST! GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

(The employee fetches a manager.)

Manager: “Sir, we are not going to sell you a set that costs £189.99 for only £15. This is obviously not a real label.”

(The customer takes a bat out of the pack and raises it in a threatening motion.)

Customer: “GIVE IT TO ME FOR FREE OR I’LL BREAK YOUR SKULLS!”

(Suddenly, out of nowhere, a random customer who is just walking past grabs the bat. He moves it round the unruly customer’s shoulder, flooring the bad customer and disarming him in one motion. The random customer goes right up to his face.)

Random Customer: “Buddy, you ain’t gonna get s*** unless you calm down and learn to be an honest man instead of a p***k. F*** off.”

(The unruly customer gets up and runs off, only to be grabbed by security and arrested a few minutes later. The good customer was given a £100 gift card and was even offered a job as a security guard! He declined, saying it was his duty to be a good citizen. I found out he was an ex-colonel in the British army and had been in tougher situations than that.)

Related:
That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket

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