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License To Be An A**-Hole

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work the knife display and license-sale counter at a well-known sporting goods store. We are currently having problems with our state-issued fishing and hunting license printer, so there is a huge sign on both accessible sides of the counter informing customers that we cannot sell any licenses at this time. I am currently assisting a young lady who is looking for a knife for her husband’s birthday when a man walks up and strikes the other side of the counter behind me with his fist.)

Me: *turning to him, startled* “I will be right with you, sir.”

Male Customer: “You d***-well had better be. I am not going to wait here all day for service!”

Female Customer: *sensing an issue* “It’s fine if you want to help him first; I am still choosing, anyway.”

Me: *to Male Customer* “Yes, sir, how may I help you today?”

Male Customer: *waving his ID in my face* “Well, this is the license counter, ain’t it? So OBVIOUSLY I want a LICENSE, don’t I?”

Me: *pointing to the poster size sign he is currently standing right in front of* “I apologize, sir, but we cannot issue licenses at this time. The closest license retailer to us is on [Road five minutes away].”

Male Customer: *cramming his wallet back in his pocket* “You just don’t know how to print a f***ing license. Where’s someone else to help?”

Me: “Sir, you can have one issued to you on [Road five minutes away] by [Sister Store] or by [Competitor Store on same road]. We cannot print any licenses at this time. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Male Customer: “I ain’t goin’ to [Road five minutes away] and I sure as s*** ain’t going to [Sister Store]. Where. Can. I. Get. A license. TODAY?!”

Me: “Sir, the closest place you can get one is [Road five minutes away] at [Sister Store] OR at [Competitor Store on same road].”

Male Customer: “Do you not understand…? Y’know what, NEVER MIND!” *storms away*

Me: “Have a great day!”

Male Customer: *shouting* “F*** YOU!”

Female Customer: *flabbergasted* “Does he know you work around knives? I would cut his balls right off!”

He’ll Get It Slower Than A Speeding Bullet

| SC, USA | Bigotry

(I am working the firearm counter at a well known sporting goods store. It is early in the morning, so I’m cleaning the cases when a man approaches.)

Man: “Hey, honey. You got anyone working at these here guns?”

(I assume he thinks I’m maintenance since I’m cleaning.)

Me: “Yes, sir, I am. What can I help with today?”

Man: *guffaw* “No, honey. I need someone who can sell me one’a these here guns.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am certified to do that. What were you interested in?”

Man: *looks visibly uncomfortable* “You ain’t got nobody else here?”

Me: “No. We usually only have the one person in the morning. Can I help you with something?”

Man: “I need a .22.”

Me: “We have several in stock of different manufacturers.”

Man: “I’m looking for a .22, honey. It’s a rifle.”

Me: *becoming annoyed* “Yes, I know. Which manufacturer or model are you interested in?”

Man: “I’ll just come back by when y’all got someone working who knows what I’m lookin’ fer.”

Me: “Sir, none of our employees are telepathic. If you don’t know what you want, chances are that we won’t either!”

Never Too Late To Ask For A Discount

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work in a small sporting goods store where we allow customers to demo certain products before purchase. They sign a form agreeing to bring them back within a week or be subject to late fees. This customer slipped through the cracks and was 4 weeks late. I decided to call and give him one day to return our products before we charged him.)

Me: “Hello, sir! My name is [My Name]. I’m calling from [Company]. I’m calling about a couple of demos you have out from us.”

Customer: “Hmm? Oh, yes! I do have those!”

Me: “Yes, sir. You are actually four weeks late on returning them. I wanted to remind you that our store policy is to charge your card for late returns, but if you can get them back to me by the end of tomorrow, I won’t charge you for it.”

Customer: “Oh, ok. I was actually going to buy one of them.” *he proceeds to tell me which one* “How much does it cost?”

Me: “The price on that one is $189.00.”

Customer: “Oh, wow. And can I have a discount on that?”

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