Give This Customer A Wide Berth

, , , , , | Right | February 11, 2019

(On a slow Tuesday morning in February, an exceptionally well-dressed and sophisticated-looking, middle-aged woman in a pants suit scurries into the deserted store and up to me standing at the counter. She’s obviously in a hurry and looks a bit frazzled.)

Woman: “I need a pair of men’s slippers, size ten, triple E!”

(Since it’s February, we have maybe half a dozen pairs of men’s slippers left in the store, and I know that only one has a chance of fitting the bill. I bring the box out of the stockroom to show her.)

Me: “This is our last size ten, and it runs very wide.”

Woman: “Is it a size ten?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “Are they triple E?”

Me: “Technically, the width is D, but they fit unusually wide. You could bring them back if they don’t fit.”

(Without a word, she snatches one of the slippers from the box, spreads her legs wide, sticks the slipper between her thighs, and holds it there with her hands on her hips for several seconds. Then she reaches down, grabs the slipper, and slaps it back into the box.)

Woman: “Not wide enough!”

(She raced out of the store.)

Unfiltered Story #139363

, , , | Unfiltered | February 6, 2019

This is a little story from the customer’s POV, well, from the daughter of the customer. My mother and I were at a popular fast-food joint going through the drive-through. We’d already paid, gotten change and were waiting for our food. After the employee hands over our bags of food and drink my mother says jokingly; “Normally I’d just drive away now!”

Employee at Window: *slightly worried* “And what are you planning on doing differently today, Ma’am?”

I was wondering the same thing as we drove away, both of us embarrassed at my mother’s little slip-up.

(She told me later that she’d thought she’d forgotten something at the time, but it came across as sounding very weird.)

Unfiltered Story #139353

, , , | Unfiltered | February 6, 2019

The little mom-and-pop convenience/video rental store my boyfriend and another guy worked at about ten years ago was being held up one day and the thief was demanding the money from the till.

Robber: “Put the money in a bag!”

Co-worker: *without missing a beat* “Would that be paper or plastic?”

Energy Drinks For Dogs

, , , , , | Right | December 2, 2018

(I am doing a product demo for a popular energy shot that’s supposed to keep people alert and awake. An elderly couple with a chihuahua comes by my booth.)

Me: “Hello. I have [Brand] for sample today. It’s an energy drink—”

Male Customer: “Oh, we should try this.”

(He picks up the cup, sips it, then offers it to the dog, who investigates the drink.)

Me: “Sir! It’s a half-dose, but that’s still a large amount of caffeine and taurine; I don’t think that’s a good idea—”

Female Customer: “Oh, nonsense. We never get anything that our buddy doesn’t like.”

Me: “It’s still probably not safe for him to drink.”

(The couple walked off, their dog lapping up the drink. I really hope my concerns were unwarranted!)


, , , , , | Right | July 17, 2018

(I’m working in a call center for a cell phone company. The queues for the phone have been steady, meaning the customers have a wait before getting one of us.)

Me: “Thank you for calling customer service. My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you today?”

Caller: “I was just calling to see how long the wait was.”

Me: “Really?”

Caller: “Yeah, I do this sometimes.”

Me: “Well, how long was it?”

Caller: “About six minutes. That’s better than it usually is on [Day].”

Me: “That’s interesting. Is there anything I can help you with, then?”

Caller: “No, that was all.”

Me: “Well, have a great day.”

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