Has No Propensity For History

| Gettysburg, PA, USA | Right | August 16, 2013

(I’m working behind the register counter that has glass display cases of knives, wallets, etc. Some are engraved with CSA—Confederate States of America, and USA—for the Union.)

Customer: *running up to the counter* “Oooh! Knives! Wait, what does ‘CSA’ mean?”

Me: “It stands for ‘Confederate States of America.’ Did you want to have a look?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to buy. But, the Confederate states are the North, right?!”

Me: “No, not at all… ”

Customer: “Oh, oh well. But you know what’s strange? All these battles happened in national parks!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “I guess that just made it easier to hide behind the monuments!”

Me: “I have to get back to work; have a nice day.”

(I get back to folding and stocking while the customer walks out with the smuggest look on their face, like they just gave me a history lesson.)

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Cow Skulls For The Numbskulls

, | | Right | March 16, 2009

(A couple from up north comes into our tourist shop.)

Female Customer: “Oh look, honey!”

Husband: “Oh, wow!”

Female Customer: *points to little ceramic cow skull* “Ooh, could I see that?”

Me: “Sure…”

Female Customer: “Ooh, this is sooo pretty! What do you call them?”

Me: “Well, I call them ‘cow skulls.'”

Female Customer: “Ohhh, honey! She says they’re called “cow skulls”!

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