A Drastic Change In Personality

, , , , | Right | June 25, 2019

(I work in the ladies’ wear department of a large store that has changing rooms for specific genders, although we make occasions for small children under the age of ten. There is a sign outside and on each door of the fitting rooms that it is one person per cubicle. I’m working at the fitting rooms with a coworker who has just let a little boy and his mother into the rooms, and I show them to an empty one. They have children’s clothes for the boy.)

Me: “Feel free to sit just outside the room, ma’am.”

Mother: “What?! He’s only seven! I can’t leave him alone!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma—“

Mother: “Well, you know what? All the other shops allowed me in with him. I’m not shopping here anymore and I want to talk to your manager now.”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s no reason to cause a situation; there’s a double room available at the mo—“

Mother: “NO! I am so angry right now!”

(She storms out to the front where my coworker is and badgers her until we call a manager over. The little boy is standing with me with a red face.)

Mother: “[Little Boy], get over here now! We’re leaving right now!”

(The little boy then moved to his mother, starting to cry. My manager came along and pulled her to the side. A few minutes later my coworker and I heard her screaming and shouting, and watched her being removed from the store by a security guard, gingerly followed by the little boy. My manager came back a little while later with a rather red cheek. Apparently, this lady was well known for bringing the child in and stealing the most expensive children’s clothes we have in the store, but we never were able to catch her in the act.)

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Priority Training Wasn’t Given Priority

, , , , , , | Working | August 30, 2018

(I’m an IT helpdesk manager. Over the summer, we have a lot of projects, and as such we are trying to get customers to help themselves rather than relying on us to hold their hands when fixing their problems. I come back from a meeting to one of the first-line guys with a call on hold. He passes it to me as the woman on the other end is causing a bit of a fuss. She’s lost a folder in her email application. It happens all the time. Usually it’s just an accidental drag and drop into another folder. She won’t listen to my instructions to find it.)

Caller: “Send someone round to my desk, now!

(She’s literally a data entry clerk; she has no urgent work. I try again to coach her on how to find the folder herself. She doesn’t want to know.)

Me: “I would advise you to log a ticket on our system with the details, and we’ll get back to you.”

(Ten minutes later, a “Priority One” ticket appears. When you log this, it tells you this is only for full system outages, power cuts, or VIP tickets. The ticket has no extra information, only, “Lost email folder. Send someone to help ASAP.” I then get two emails: one from my boss, and one from his boss. They’ve been notified that a “Priority One” ticket has been raised, and they want to know why. I downgrade it to a “Priority Three,” and attach some basic instructions for the user to follow, advising that if she still can’t find the folder after following the instructions, then we’ll assign someone from second-line support to look at it for her.)

Caller: *responding in all caps* “I WANTED SOMEONE TO COME AND LOOK AT THIS FOR ME, NOT GIVE ME INSTRUCTIONS. I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE DONE THIS MYSELF!”

(Now she’s getting it. I closed the ticket, asking her not to log “Priority One” tickets for non-critical matters again. My replies to my boss and his boss were also copied to her boss, who replied to all that he would remind her not to do that again.)

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At One Point Apple Users Were All Sixes And Sevens

, , , , | Right | July 26, 2018

(I work for a company that does tech repairs. One day we get a customer asking if we do phone repairs.)

Customer: “Hi, do you do phone repairs?”

Me: “Yes, we do. What is it?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s a six.”

Me: “Which phone?”

Customer: “Just a normal six.”

(Eventually she clicked and told me it was an iPhone 6.)

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A Big Mayo No No, Part 5

, , , , , , | Working | May 17, 2018

(I am running late and don’t have time to make lunch in the morning, so I think I’ll treat myself at a nearby fast food restaurant that has a drive-thru. I pull up to the speaker, and ask for a [chicken sandwich], no mayo.)

Employee: “What mayo was that?”

Me: “No mayo, please.”

Employee: “Hot mayo?”

Me: “No. NO mayonnaise, please. None. No mayo.”

Employee: “So, like, plain?”

Me: “I guess.”

(At the first window, as I pay, I confirm that the sandwich will have all the salad, etc., just no mayo.)

Employee: “Yes, no problem.”

(I’m sceptical. Luckily, there’s nobody immediately behind me when I pull up to the second window to get my food, so I check. Yeah, it’s missing all the salad; it’s literally just a chicken burger in a dry bun. I ask for it to be rectified, and the lady argues with me that I ordered it plain, so it came plain. Eventually a manager comes over,and tells me the same thing. Apparently, it is impossible to order a [chicken sandwich] without mayo but still with the other bits. By now, they’re showing me the ordering system screen, so I can see their predicament. They don’t understand that I don’t care, and all I want is for them to stick their token lettuce, onions, etc., in the thing so I can at least pretend to be vaguely healthy. They go through all the permutations of ordering the [chicken sandwich] until I suggest something.)

Me: “Choose, ‘spicy mayo.’”

(They did it. An option then appeared for “no mayo.” Their system was set up that they had to choose one of the three mayo options — cool, spicy, chilli — to able to remove it. And it took someone who had never seen that system before to work it out.)

Related:
A Big Mayo No No, Part 4
A Big Mayo No No, Part 3
A Big Mayo No No, Part 2

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A Middling Successful Attempt

, , , , , , | Working | May 8, 2018

(I work as a lot attendant at a grocery store. The produce manager there has a running gag where he will occasionally say an employee’s first name, a random middle name, and their last name, when calling them to his department over the PA. Everyone gets a kick out of it. One day when I’m inside for safety reasons due to a thunderstorm, it goes a step further.)

Manager: *on PA* “[My First Name]… [My Real Middle Name]… [My Last Name]… Come to produce, please.”

(I try very hard to contain my laughter as I make my way to the produce department.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], what’s up? By the way, I’ll be honest: I wasn’t expecting you to get it on the first try!”

(We both burst out laughing. It turns out that was the first time in over 20 years working for the company that he accidentally got an employee’s full name right.)

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