Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from [Company]. At no obligation to you, would you be interested in hearing about a program for your gifted child?”

Me: “Sure.”

The caller goes on to explain the program. It’s one of those programs where you get activities every month.

Caller: “So, at no obligation to you, would you be interested in receiving the first month’s activities for your gifted child?”

Me: “Sure.”

Caller: “Okay, how many children do you have?”

Me: “Two.”

Caller: “And how old are they?”

Me: “Five and ten years old.”

Caller: “And which one is gifted?”

Me: “Both.”

Caller: “Both?”

Me: “Yes.” 

The ten-year-old is in the gifted program at school. The five-year-old is reading at a fourth-grade reading level and their kindergarten teacher is going to recommend them for the gifted program.

Caller: “Okay.”

The caller continues to take my information.

Caller: “Now I just need your credit card number.”

Me: “What?”

Caller: “I need your credit card number.”

Me: “Why?”

Caller: “To complete the sign-up for the program.”

Me: “But you said there was no obligation to me.”

Caller: “There isn’t. I just need your credit card number.”

Me: “You said there was no obligation to me.”

Caller: “I need your credit card number to send the program to you.”

Me: “If there is no obligation to me, then I’m not obliged to give you my credit card number. Send me the information and the activity so I can decide if I want to purchase the program.”

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone and then the caller hung up. I never did receive the activity or any information about the program.

The boss is working out of state to assist a different location, so my coworkers and I have to update a location log to show where he is. 

Coworker: “Is Montana ‘MT’?”

Me: “No, I’m pretty there are people somewhere in that state.”

My coworker cracked up laughing.

I have just started my new job as a librarian. It’s our holiday party and I’m sitting with a few coworkers. I don’t remember what we are talking about, but one of my only coworkers close to my age sits next to me and I do remember what she says next.

Coworker: “So, I was reading about consensual cannibalism…”

I live in one of few states not under full quarantine yet. Many restaurants are closed except for drive-thru, including ours. A coworker of mine is taking orders through drive-thru.

Customer: “Do you read the Bible, [Coworker]?

Coworker: “No, I’m not religious.”

The customer starts ranting.

Customer: “This disease is a punishment from God! Repent while you still have time!”

She simply took his order and then he went to the next window asking the same question, again ranting when given the same answer. A few minutes later, the same customer went through the drive-thru again, this time blowing a trumpet. We still don’t know what the deal was but everyone was talking about “trumpet guy” by the end of the day.

Customer: “Do you have that melted cheese sauce?”

Me: “Yes, we have chile con queso.”

Customer: “Is it cheesy?”

Me: “…?”