(I work at the customer service counter at a grocery chain. We sell tickets for the state lotteries. A disheveled-looking gentleman approaches the counter and buys a ticket.)
Customer: “What’s the [lottery name] up to?”
Me: “The current jackpot is [amount].”
Customer: “That’d be kind of nice, you know. I’d be eccentric if I had that much money. Right now, I’m just weird!”
(We are a fair trade store and, as such, sell items such as incense and incense burners. We are sometimes mistaken for a “head shop”. We also rent kayaks in the summer.)
Customer: *looking over his shoulder a few times* “Where is your ‘special merchandise?'”
Me: “Sir?”
Customer: “You know…” *winks* “…your ‘back room stuff.'”
Me: “Sir, we don’t have anything in a back room. All of our stock is out on the floor.”
Customer: *pointing to the kayak storage room* “Then, what’s in there?”
Me: “That’s our kayak room.”
Customer: *knowing look* “Oh… your ‘kayak room’. Can I see your ‘kayak room?'”
Me: “Sure!”
(He walks back, opens the door, walks in. I can hear him moving things around for a few minutes before he returns with a confused look on his face.)
Customer: “There’s kayaks in there!”
Me: “Yep.”
Customer: “Where’s the weed?”
Me: “Bye, now!”
Customer: “Do you have anything made in Tennessee?”
Me: “It’s quite possible.”
Customer: “Well, what about Illinois?”
Me: “Maybe.”
Customer: “What about New Jersey?”
Me: “I’m not sure… You may find something.”
Customer: “But your sign says you sell goods from over 50 countries! That’s all of them!”
Me: “That’s states. It’s 50 countries outside the US.”
Customer: *baffled look* “Out… side?”
This story is part of the American States roundup!
