Health Care(less)

, , , , | Right | May 19, 2010

Me: “That will be $43.78, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, no, it won’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you have insurance? You weren’t in the system. Do you have your card on you?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have insurance. Obama said health care is free.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s how it works, ma’am.”

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We Should Put A Cheesy Title Here But Then We’d Just Get Burned

, , , , | Right | May 12, 2010

(A customer orders nachos and comes back twenty minutes later.)

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just ordered these nachos and the cheese ain’t hot!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. The dispenser is supposed to keep the cheese hot.”

Customer: “Well, you see this?” *sticks a finger in the cheese* “I should be burning myself right now!”


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Why Bikers Never Go By The Book

, , | Right | May 7, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to get a quote on some motorcycle insurance?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We are currently only writing personal auto. We are in the process of changing companies and should be able to write it soon.”

Customer: “Wait, what?”

Me: “We are only able to write personal auto insurance to insure a vehicle, not motorcycles.”

Customer: “Well, it says very clearly in the phone book that you guys do motorcycle insurance.”

Me: “We used to but at the current moment we don’t. We will be able to do so soon.”

Customer: “Well, why don’t you guys take it out of the phone book then?”

Me: “You mean, why don’t we take it out of last year’s phone book?”

Customer: “Uh, yeah!” *hangs up*

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Ask Her To Close All Windows Next

, , , | Right | April 28, 2010

Me: “Can you get online?”

Customer: “How do you do that?”

Me: “Do you see Internet Explorer?”

Customer: “Where do I see that?”

Me: “It should be on your desktop.”

Customer: *rustling papers* “I don’t see it on my desk anywhere. Are you sure it is here?”

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They’re Not Zits, But They Rhyme With Them

, , , | Right | February 19, 2010

(A customer walks up to our front desk in the waiting room area and places a kitty carrier on the desk.)

Me: “Hi, do you need an appointment?”

Customer: “Uh. No. I just need some acne cream for cats.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

(The customer pulls a cat out of the carrier and sets it on the desk.)

Customer: “See? She has acne on her belly.”

Me: “Those aren’t acne. Those are nipples.”


This story is part of our Stupid Pet Owners roundup!

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