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This Customer Has Blown Another Kind Of Valve

, , , | Right | November 3, 2018

(It is my first week at a new job, and I have been lucky that most of the “regulars” recognize that I am new to this store and try to help me help THEM. One customer comes in with a part and drops it onto the counter in front of me, ignoring the customer I’m already waiting on.)

Customer: “I need one of these, and I AIN’T GOT ALL F****** DAY!”

(I recognize the general part as being a valve and ask what it goes on — what does it do?)

Customer: “My truck, smarta**!” *not the answer we need*

(At this point the customer that was already in front of me looks over and says:)

Regular Customer: “That looks like a [specific type of valve]. What kind of truck does it go on?”

(The customer ignores the regular customer and just glares at me, so I ask him the same question.)

Me: “Sir, what kind of truck does it go on?”

Customer: “My red one!”

Yanks But No Thanks

, , , , | Right | October 8, 2018

(I am employed as a phonathon caller to raise money for my university. We call alumni and request donations.)

Me: “Hi, can I speak to Mr. [Alumnus]?”

Alumnus: “This is he.”

Me: “Oh, good evening. This is [My Name], calling from Clemson University. How are you?”

Alumnus: “You sound too much like a Yankee to be calling from Clemson.” *hangs up*

Trying To Claw Back Some Change

, , , , | Right | October 5, 2018

(I am an employee, bagging groceries for a customer. Behind me is an open area for people to walk, and behind that is a claw machine and gum ball machines. A lady and her child are at the claw machine. The lady comes up to me, and this is what ensues.)

Customer: “I put a $5 bill in this machine, expecting to get $4.50 in change!”

(Each play is 50 cents.)

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but that doesn’t give change.”

Customer: “I want my change back! I only wanted him to play one time.”

Me: “I don’t think there is anything I can do, but let me ask my manager.”

(I walk to the office and the customer follows me. I go in and tell my manager what is happening. He says we can’t give money back unless the machine takes the money and then won’t work. I go back out and walk up to the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can only give money back if the machine takes it and then doesn’t work. There is a separate company that puts the machine there; they take the money from it and they fill it up.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do?!”

Me: “Your child will just have to play $5 worth of plays.”

(I resume bagging and the customer goes back to the claw machine. A few minutes later she comes back up to me.)

Customer: “He only played three times, and now it won’t work! $5 is ten plays!”

Me: “He played more than three times ma’am. He was playing when you first started talking to me, and he was playing the whole time we were at the office while I talked to my manager. You may have only seen him play three times, but I assure you that he used up all his turns.”

Customer: “There’s no way!”

(She turns to a man who was standing there, whom I hadn’t noticed before; he’s her spouse.)

Customer: *to man* “How many times did he play?”

Man: “I didn’t count, but it was more than three.”

Customer: *looks at the man, looks at me* “Whatever!”

(Then she grabbed the child and quickly exited the store, the whole time berating the child for spending her entire $5 and not winning.)

Some Background Would Have Been Nice

, , , , , | Working | September 21, 2018

(I work as a graphic designer for a church. The pastor does a sermon series every few weeks, and he wants new artwork themed for the series for the Sunday bulletin. We are between series, and the pastor has not told me what his next series will be, but he’s starting a new one soon. It’s nearing the end of the day on Friday, the last day for my work week, when this happens…)

Pastor: “Okay, I’m staring the new series this Sunday. The sermon title is ‘[Title],’ and the sermon series is going to be called ‘[Series].’” *snarky now* “But if you haven’t worked on the artwork for the sermon series, I guess you can just put a black background on the bulletin for worship.”

Me: *pause* “The sermon series you just now told me about? Yeah, I haven’t had time to work on that yet.”

Pastor: *sighs in annoyance* “Well… just work on it for next Sunday and use a black background this Sunday!”

Making A Beerline For The Road

, , , , , , | Right | September 15, 2018

(I work in the take-away area of a popular Australian steakhouse. My job is to bring food to customers waiting in their cars, so they can drive off and take it home to eat. This exchange happens at 10:45 on a Saturday night. I have just gotten this woman’s change while she is waiting for the rest of her food to come out.)

Me: “Can I get you anything else while you wait?”

Woman: “Yeah, can I order [alcoholic beverage] from the bar?”

Me: “What?”

Woman: “Can I order something from the bar and drink it while I wait?”

Me: “No, ma’am, you can’t.”

Woman: “Well, why not?”

Me: “I’m not allowed to give you alcohol. You’re sitting in your car in the to-go area. It’s illegal to drink and drive.”