It’s A Table Not A TARDIS

, , , , | Right | February 3, 2021

I work in a fairly nice restaurant with occasionally long wait times on weekend nights.

I am hosting one Friday night. We are pretty busy with maybe a thirty-minute wait for parties of four or less, but larger parties depend on the size as we only have two different spots that will fit anything over about eight. 

A customer comes in with her several children and approaches the other host who is manning the desk.

Customer: “I have twelve people.”

Host: “All right, just so you know, for a party of that size, it is going to be about a forty-five-minute wait.”

Customer: “Why? There’s a table right there.”

She points to one of the six-person raised booths in the restaurant that is covered in dirty dishes.

All of the hosts are thinking three things: one, twelve people won’t fit into a six-person booth. Two, we can’t put high chairs at the end of raised booths due to it being neither the right height nor safe. And three, there are two other large parties ahead of this group on the waitlist, so even if they could fit there safely, they’d still have to wait on the other parties first.

The host explains these to the customer in a polite customer service manner.

Customer: “Geez! I don’t see why we can’t just go sit there! I don’t want to leave. Just put us on the list anyway.”

She stomps off with her kids. The host proceeds with normal work and I don’t think much of that encounter until I am walking past the aforementioned booth and notice that that lady from before has crammed all nine of her kids into the booth along with — somehow — herself and two other adults.

I walk over to start to explain that they can’t do that when she stops me mid-sentence to say:

Customer: “Can we please get a high chair over here?! My baby has nowhere to sit!”

I definitely don’t want to get into that with her so I just walk away and tell the main host, who is very sassy and good at telling people off.

The main host goes over to the table and tells the family that they have to leave because they cut the line and put too many people into the booth, and the lady starts yelling:

Customer: “I was seated here! You can’t make me leave! I demand to see your manager!” 

The main host went and got the manager who told them they had to leave. The lady was steadily yelling about awful service all the way out the door.

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The Ugly Shoe Of Entitlement

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2021

I’m in the shoe department of a department store. It’s an unusually busy day for a weekday and the two girls working are doing their best running registers and working with customers needing sizes. They are doing pretty well keeping up but I can tell they are getting tired from running back and forth.

A certain customer starts causing major slowdowns. She continuously walks up to the workers asking questions while they are helping other customers, which is rude to start off with. She then starts grabbing shoes and bringing them to the workers asking what they’re made of.

Worker: “Ma’am, I’m helping another customer at the moment, but if you look in the tongue of the shoe it will tell you if it is man-made materials or leather.”

The customer just stares at her. I can tell that other customers are getting annoyed, as well.

Worker: “Do… Do you need me to look for you?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s why I asked!”

Worker: “It’s man-made materials.”

The customer snatches the shoe back. This happens about two more times, both while the workers are checking someone out or answering questions for other customers who have patiently waited their turn.

The third time this happens, the lady shoves a shoe in the worker’s face while she’s talking to another customer at the register. The worker finally snaps.

Worker: “Is this some kind of weird power trip for you or something?!”

Customer: “No! Just when I ask you to do something you should do it!”

Their customer left shortly after the worker confronted her. I am unsure if she even purchased anything. She needed to be put in her place at some point!

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Unless She’s Looking For The Worst Makeup Ever

, , , | Right | January 18, 2021

A woman looks around for a few minutes and comes up to the register. We are a department store that sells mostly clothing and cosmetics; we are not a grocery store or a supermarket and it is very obvious we don’t sell grocery items.

Customer: “Where is your cat food?” 

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have cat food. [Major Retailer] down the road has cat food and I think [Pharmacy Chain] across the street does, too.”

Customer: “I don’t want to go to [Major Retailer]. I came here for a reason. What department is your cat food in?” 

Me: “There isn’t any cat food in this store, ma’am. This is [Store]. We don’t sell that kind of thing.” 

Customer: “Okay. Thanks, I guess.”

She then goes on to write a bad review to our store manager about how the cashier wouldn’t tell her where the cat food was and how we should have a better selection of pet items. 

My manager laughs at it the next day in our usual morning meeting.

Manager: “You can’t fix stupid.”

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The Store Card Has A Lot In Store

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2021

Customer: “I’d like to pay half with my [Store] card and half with my debit card.”

Me: “Okay, that’s no problem. Which one would you like to use first?”

Customer: “My debit card.”

Me: “Okay.”

I hit the option for credit/debit.

Me: “It should be ready to go.”

The customer slides the [Store] card.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said your debit card.”

I go back and hit the option for [Store] card.

Me: “Go ahead with your [Store] card.”

Customer: *Inserts debit card* “It’s not working.”

Me: *Internally screaming* “Ma’am, please use your other card first.”

Customer: “Wow, they sure make these computers complicated, huh?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They sure do.” *More internal screaming*

She was very sweet, so I didn’t get too frustrated with her. But please, people, open your ears!

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Returner Burner: The Store Card Scandal

, , , , | Right | January 13, 2021

A customer comes in with a pair of sunglasses to return with no receipt and no tag. There isn’t any brand name on them and no identifying marks or numbers. While I’m looking on our website for the sunglasses (for the UPC number), the customer interrupts me. 

Customer: “Can’t you just look them up from my card?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That is why I have to find the item number, to search for it in your card history.”

Customer: “But my card is right here.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand. I’m trying to find the item so we can search for it on your card. It doesn’t give us a list of all your transactions.”

After I spend about fifteen minutes looking through about two-hundred different sunglasses, none of them is a match. This means we don’t carry them anymore or we never have.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t seem to carry these glasses anymore, which means I can’t do the return without the receipt or the tag.”

Customer: “But you guys told me when I got this [Store] card that I could return things without a receipt as long as it was on my card! I want to speak to the manager!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But that is if I am able to identify the item you are returning, which I cannot do. If you’d like, you could call the card customer service and they’d be able to look at all of your transactions and find the UPC number for you since they have access to more information than I do.”

Customer: “I still want your manager. This is ridiculous.”

I called a manager over and she decided to take out her own personal phone and call the card company for the customer. Of course, they wanted to talk to the customer because she had all of the information that they needed — birthday, social security, etc.

She threw the phone back at my manager when she was done talking so that my manager could write the UPC number down for her. We were finally able to do a return, even though we could not be sure that the UPC number even matched the item. The customer then looked at me and said, “And YOU wanted ME to do that!”

Next time, leave the tag on or have the receipt if you want a flawless return!

A Different Kind Of Returner Burner
Returner Burner, Part 8
Returner Burner: International Edition
Returner Burner: On Location
Returner Burner Until Burning Point

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