My Relationship With This Bank Is Over(Draft)

, , , , | Working | October 16, 2017

(Due to a bank error, an incorrectly charged fee, I have an overdraft fee on my account. They reverse the incorrect fee they charged, but not the overdraft. I call to have that fixed.)

Employee: “Well, if you had more money, it wouldn’t have been an issue in the first place.”

(She eventually reversed it, but I still went in a few days later to close out the account. I’m not going to deal with a bank or its employees who seem to think overdraft fees for their errors are okay.)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 28

, , , , , , | Right | October 6, 2017

(I am on my lunch break, shopping at a fabric store. I am wearing a blue polo, khakis, sneakers, and my ID badge on a lanyard.)

Customer: “Sir! Sir! Over here! Sir!”

(I ignore the other customer, thinking she is calling for an employee. I keep browsing for the fabric marker I am looking for. Then an older gentleman puts his hand on my shoulder and violently turns me around.)

Customer’s Husband: “Hey, she was calling you!”

Me: “Why? I don’t know either one of you.”

Customer’s Husband: “She needs to know where the floral arrangements are!”

Me: “Then find someone who works here, dips**t, and don’t touch me.”

Customer’s Husband: “Oh, yeah? Let’s see that badge, smart-a**.”

(The customer flips my id badge around and sees that it is for a medical software company.)

Customer’s Husband: “Oh.”

Me: “Yeah, ‘oh.’ Why don’t you try someone wearing a red vest that says [Store] on the back? And try not to grab them; I hear you get better service that way.”

(The man apologized and went looking for an employee. I hope he calmed down and found someone to help them!)

The Bartok Scenes Are A Bit Of A Stretch

, , , , , , | Related | October 5, 2017

(My grandmother takes me to see the animated movie “Anastasia” when it comes out. We’ve only seen the first few minutes. All the narration has said so far is that the Czar used to rule Russia, Anastasia was his daughter, and Rasputin was a mystic who was close to the royal family. Accurate enough, and certainly recognizable as right before the Russian Revolution.)

Narration: “The year was nineteen hundred and sixteen.”

Grandma: “Did she say 1916 or 1960?”

Me: “I dunno.”

(Give me a break; I was seven. I think for a second.)

Me: “You were alive in 1960, and not in 1916. Do you remember this?”

Grandma: “This is based on something that really happened?”

(I’m still not sure if she actually forgot that the Russian Revolution happened and that Czars were a real thing, or if she didn’t realize that no matter how unrealistic the rest of the movie was, if it was set at the time of the revolution it would still have to be in 1916, not 1960.)

Six Red Flags Going Up All At Once

, , , , | Right | October 4, 2017

(I work at a historic fort that has six flags flying over the site every day.)

Visitor: “How do you get the flags to fly in the same direction?”

Unfiltered Story #95708

, | Unfiltered | September 27, 2017

(My brothers both smoke, and usually Mom is fine with that. However, we have company coming and she’s requested that they smoke outside today so the house won’t smell. They’ve already gone to work, and I’m now telling my brother’s girlfriend about this because she smokes too.)

Me: “So if you could smoke on the deck today, that would be good.”

Girlfriend: “Which one?” (We have two raised decks and a front porch.)

Me: “Any, I guess. I think they were on the back deck earlier… wait a minute, isn’t that the one with the hummingbird feeders?”

Her: “Yeah…”

Me: “The hummingbird feeders [Brother] is always asking me to refill because they attract yellow jackets and he’s allergic?”

(We moved the feeders and confronted the boys when they got home. Turns out they thought that it was OK to sit out there because the allergic one “stayed well away from them” – the deck is maybe four by five feet – and “kept an eye on them”. I should point out that he is VERY allergic – a single sting from a yellow jacket would kill him without treatment. When we moved the feeders, I saw four live and two dead yellow jackets, and I was only out there a few minutes. It’s amazing the things some people will do for their fixes – but even so, there were two other places to choose from! He risked death because that deck has a roof and slightly comfier chairs.)

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