I overhear a mother talking to her teenage daughter as I’m stocking an aisle.

Mum: “Get some of the Greek yoghurt, dear.”

The daughter obliges and comes back with a big, expensive tub.

Mum: “No, not that one.”

Daughter: “This one looks nicer.”

Mum: “I don’t trust any yoghurt that uses the word ‘luxury’. It’s yoghurt, not a yacht. Put it back and get the [Store Brand].”

I found myself silently nodding in agreement with a customer; a rare occurrence!

My father-in-law was staying with us because his house burned down, and the rest of my husband’s family ghosted him (for reasons that will soon become clear). It was a tense five months, especially for my kids.

We’re raising our kids to have minds of their own, and while they should try to always be courteous, they don’t have to show respect to anyone who doesn’t respect them. My father-in-law doesn’t appreciate this school of parenting and comes from the Era of “children are seen and not heard.”

Well, one day he was talking to my youngest, who had just turned six, and she enjoys conversation, asking questions, and contributing to the dialogue. My father-in-law thinks kids should just sit there quietly while he talks at them. So, he told her a little information, and she responded:

Daughter: “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

Father-In-Law: *Snapped at her with a lot of irritation.* “Yeah, well, there are a lot of things you don’t f****** know.”

This was his way of telling her to STFU. I was about to jump in, but in a heartbeat, she fired back:

Daughter: “Yeah, well, I know your house burned down!”

I had to leave before I laughed in his face. And it may have been rude, but she had been enduring months of him talking down to her and treating her as if she was stupid because she’s a child. He had it coming.

A common prayer to say before eating a meal starts, “Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts…” Recently, my daughter mentioned it.

Daughter: “When I was younger, I thought it went ‘Bless us, O Lord, and these, I guess.”

I worked in an electronics store to put myself through college. I worked in the computer department but was sitting at the loss prevention desk up front to cover while the loss prevention supervisor took a quick lunch break.

An old lady comes in:

Customer: “Where’s the dairy section? I need help finding the milk!”

Me: *Kindly.* “Ma’am, you’re not in a grocery store. This is an electronics store.”

She looks confused and leaves. A couple of minutes later, her (presumably) son walks in and starts chewing my a**.

Customer’s Son: “What the h*** is wrong with you?! Why wouldn’t you help an old lady find some milk?!”

I slowly waved my arm across the store and asked him:

Me: “Which one of these aisles looks like they might have milk in them?”

He stares for a good few seconds, and then glares back at me:

Customer’s Son: “You’re an a**hole!”

Me: “Yeah, I’m used to hearing that after I’ve won an argument.”

Customer’s Son: “Just because you don’t sell milk doesn’t mean you get to be rude to an old lady! Get your boss out here now!”

I paged the loss prevention supervisor up to the front.

LP Supervisor: “So, you sent your mom, who seems to be easily confused, into an electronics store on her own, because she was looking for milk?”

Customer’s Son: “No, that’s not how it went down!”

LP Supervisor: “Well, that’s how it looks from my perspective. Sir, if your mother is still waiting for you outside, I suggest you go back out and help her with her groceries better than you’ve been doing up until now.”

Customer’s Son: “You’re an a**hole!”

LP Supervisor: “And you’re never allowed back in this store. Have a good day.”

My son is eleven, as is his best friend. We’re at a neighborhood block party, and I overhear them having a conversation over ice cream:

Son: “Can I ask you a question?”

Friend: “You just did.”

Son: “Can I ask you another one?”

Friend: “You just did that, too.”

Son: “Well, can I ask you two more?”

Friend: “No.”

Son: “Why not?”

Friend: “I just told you that you couldn’t ask two more, and that was the second one! Don’t you listen?”

Son: “What?”

Friend: “And there’s question number three! What’s wrong with you? No means NO!”

Son: “Never mind.”

Friend: “See? You should have started with that and saved us both a lot of time.”

I love that my weirdo son found his weirdo bestie.