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Daddy’s Little Hacker

, , , , | Right | August 16, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “My girlfriend didn’t get her gift, and I want to know why.”

Me: *looking into order* “Sir, I see that we received an email from you asking that we cancel the order, so we did.”

Caller: “That’s impossible! Why would I do that? What email address was the email from?”

(I verify his email address.)

Caller: “Well, that’s the right address, but I didn’t send the email. You must have done it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but are you saying that I somehow hacked into your email account?”

Caller: “Well, someone there hacked into my account!”

Me: “Does anyone else know your password by any chance?”

Caller: “No, I never give it out to anyone. That would be stupid.”

Me: “At this point, I’m not sure how else to look into this. If you’re sure no one else has your password, let me get someone in our loss prevention department involved. They may know more. I’ll call you back when I have more information.”

(I explain this all to someone in loss prevention and she calls him back. Later, she tells me what she found out.)

Loss Prevention: “Turns out his daughter canceled the order because she doesn’t like dad’s new girlfriend.”


This story is part of the Sons And Daughters roundup!

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Unconcentrated Juice

, , , | Right | May 31, 2010

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. My name is [My Name] and I’ll be talking care of you today. What may I get you to drink?”

Customer: “Where am I?!”

Customer’s Daughter: “She’ll have a vodka on the rocks… straight.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Who are you?! Where’s my juice?!”

Me: “Um…” *looks at customer, then back at the daughter* “Are you sure?”

Customer’s Daughter: “Trust me; the vodka is the only thing that shuts her up.”

(I bring them the vodka.)

Customer: “Who are you!? My juice is funny!”

(Three vodkas later…)

Me: “How was your meal, ladies?”

Customer: “You smell nice and you have good juice.”

Putting The Why In The Y-Chromosome

, , , , | Right | September 7, 2009

(A man calls about his phone line that’s not working. After some checks, it’s clear that the fault is somewhere in our network.)

Me: “All right, sir, I’ll open up a support ticket and put it through to our engineers. They’ll fix it for you.”

Male Caller: “They oughta fix it soon, because my mother is very ill and in the hospital. I want to be able to be called by the doctors.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. These problems are normally solved pretty quickly, but I’ll make a note of it so that our engineers will give it a higher priority.”

Male Caller: “You’d better do that!”

(We end the call and I put the request through. When I check the ticket a day later, I see it was solved about two hours after the initial call. As part of standard procedure, I call the man back. This time, a lady answers the phone.)

Me: “I’m calling you about the trouble you had regarding your phone line. Someone else called about this yesterday and I wanted to ask if everything was taken care of well.”

Female Caller: “Oh, it must have been my son who called about that. Well, everything was solved, and pretty quick, too.”

Me: “Your son? I’m glad to hear you’re out of the hospital already.”

Female Caller: “In the hospital? What are you talking about?”

Me: “Your son said you were very ill.”

Female Caller: “That liar! He told me he had a trick he uses to get problems like these solved. He does this all the time. I’ll make sure he won’t do this again!”

Me: “Okay. Well, have a nice day, then.”

Female Caller: “You, too, and I’m sorry about my son. He just looks like his father, that’s all!”


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