No Chance To Develop Your Argument

, , , | Working | November 3, 2017

(I am managing a team of developers, and we have written a new application. The test version is already functional but we still need to make a few more tweaks before we release it to the users.)

Me: *to the lead developer* “Could we please sit down and make a list of what we have to do before we can release?”

Boss: *overhears us* “Hey, that won’t be necessary; he knows what he is doing. He will do it step by step and tell us when it is ready.”

(My boss then takes me aside, berates me for finding problems where there are none and for micromanaging the developer, and tells me to drop the issue. A week later:)

Boss: “Hey, can we release that app now?”

Me: “I don’t know, but it is probably not done yet. [Lead Developer] has not told us that he is ready.”

Boss: “You have to tell me what is still left to do on that thing. Can you tell me one thing which is missing?”

Me: “No, I didn’t get that inform—”

Boss: “Okay, I’m releasing it tomorrow, then.”

1 Thumbs
392

All Professionalism Has Gone With The Wind

, , , , , , | Learning | November 1, 2017

(I am developing some educational software. Besides me, there is the project manager, as well as his two daughters, both of whom are teachers and in charge of content, though all four of us write material. One segment involves a mouse being fed cheese. The manager is reading his preliminary script:)

Manager: “’…and then you need to cut the cheese. Then gi–’ What?”

Daughter #1: “NO!”

(The other daughter and I are face-palming and stifling laughs.)

Manager: “What? What’s wrong?”

Daughter #1: “Just… no! Not with kids. Look; I’ll handle it, okay?”

(Considering that he was about my age, I wasn’t sure how he managed to miss that bit of slang.)

1 Thumbs
260

The Customers Beyond The Wall

| Right | February 21, 2016

(I work in a very specific area of the computer software services industry that can be very complicated to people who are new. Consistently, my organization is ranked as one of the top partners for one of the software giants. In addition, we have dozens of videos, case studies, and employees, including the executives and many consultants, listed within our website. I monitor the customer chat for our site.)

Me: “Hello, [Customer]. Can I help you with anything today?

Customer: “Your website tells me nothing about the personnel managing your company. Who is the head? Who are the consultants?”

Me: “Can I ask why you need the information?”

Customer: “25 years of experience in what?”

Me: “Or where specifically? We have hundreds of consultants.”

Customer: “If you need to be top secret and don’t allow potential customers to know who they are doing business with then I should look at a company that is more open. Do you have criminals at the top of the organization?”

Me: “We don’t try to hide our information. We’re more than welcome to share if you have a specific need. I can only speak for myself, but as far as I know, there are no criminals here.”

Customer: “No names, no background information as to what they have done to call themselves a consultant. Sounds sketchy to me.”

Me: “Would you like to view a few of our case studies? Or you can find a specific location with detailed information with the names of the local team members.”

Customer: “Let me call [Software Partner] to find someone who is a little more forthcoming.”

Me: “I don’t think I’ve withheld anything from your requests”

Customer: “I am going to ask [Software Partner] why you guys are hiding behind a giant wall.”

Me: “…to keep away the White Walkers, sir”

System: “Visitor exited chat.”

1 Thumbs
788

Graduates Are Younger Than Windows 95

| Working | February 16, 2016

(In a chat with our project admin about an old document.)

Me: “It looks like it was last updated in the fall of 2004.”

Admin: “Oh, that was my junior year of high school.”

Me: “Thanks for the reminder that I am literally old enough to be your father.”

1 Thumbs
389

Doubly Invalid

| Right | July 29, 2015

(We develop a software that controls the validity of lists of data against European Community databases. A prospective client calls to gather information.)

Client: “Yes, I’ve been told about your program and I’d be interested in buying it. Just a question, though.”

Me: “Sure.”

Client: “We have a very large amount of data to check so I’d really like to make these controls only for the invalid data.”

Me: “Well, the program offers a report with a summary of the controls, and you can also use the built-in filter to extract only the ones that didn’t check out.”

Client: “Okay, but how do I know which one will not check out?”

Me: “…Well, you load the data in the program and it will give you the results.”

Client: “But I have a lot of data! It will take too long! I only want to run the control for the data that will result incorrect!”

Me: “…You want to know the results BEFORE running the program?”

Client: “Yes!”

Me: “So you can take the wrong data and process it again so it can tell you once more that it’s wrong?”

Client: “Yes!”

Me: “…”

1 Thumbs
620