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Allergic To Common Sense

| Right | March 3, 2013

Me: “‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]! ‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]!” *customer comes up* “Hey, here’s your ‘Strawberries Wild’.”

Customer: “This doesn’t have strawberries in it, does it? I’m deathly allergic to strawberries.”

Me: *blink* “…Let me make you a new smoothie…”

Deficiency Leads To Stupidity

| Right | March 8, 2012

(In my store, we sell mainly natural real fruit smoothies, but we do have additions like vitamins, antioxidants, and whey protein. All of our additions are listed on our menu. A lady who looks to be in her mid 40s approaches my counter.)

Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: *reading addition section* “What is protein?”

Me: *thinking she unfamiliar with “whey”* “Well, it’s protein made from dairy that’s been processed into a powder. Ours is vanilla flavored, so it goes well with all of our fruits.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, but what is protein?”

Me: *confused* “Protein? You mean the like the stuff you normally get from eating meat or eggs?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ve never heard of it before. What is it?”

One Immune System Boost, Please

, , , | Right | February 13, 2012

(I work at a shake/smoothie shop that specializes in healthy shakes with organic ingredients blended before the customer’s eyes. A woman who looks to be in her late 30s walks in and looks at the menu for a while.)

Customer: “What ingredients can you put in a shake?

Me: “Well, we can include ground flax seed, hemp, wheat germ—”

Customer: “What? You put germs in your shakes?!”

Me: “No, ma’am, I said wheat germ—”

Customer: “I heard what you said! You said germs! I can’t believe you put germs in your shakes! Wait until I tell everyone how filthy you are!” *storms out*

To Serve Man

, , , | Right | July 22, 2011

(A male customer approaches the cash register.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “What did you say to me?”

Me: “Um, how can I help you?”

Customer: “You… help me? How can you… help me? YOU?”

Me: “Um, yes. Do you have a problem with that?”

Customer: “You can’t help me!”

Me: “Okay, why not?”

Customer: “Because I don’t need YOUR help!”

Me: “Okay, what do you want me to do? I’m the only one working here.”

Customer: “I want you to ask me, ‘How may I serve you?'”

Me: “Um, no.”

Customer: *cusses up a storm and leaves*


This story is part of the snobby customers roundup!

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Not The Most Well-Red On Allergens

| Right | June 16, 2011

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Is that smoothie red?”

Me: “Yes, the strawberries do that.”

Customer: “Okay. I can’t have those. So, this one is orange, right?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But it still has strawberries in it.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s alright. I just can’t have smoothies when they are red.”