May Contain Traces Of Messiah

| Davie, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Religion, Uncategorized

Me: “Welcome to [Smoothie Store]! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Good morning to you! I need the large blueberry please.”

Me: “Alright sir, Ill get those started for you. What kind of free boost would you like in your smoothies?”

Customer: “You know what my favorite and the best boost of all is?”

Me: “No sir, I don’t. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Jesus.”

Me: “Oh, haha. You would like a Jesus boost?”

Customer: “Why yes, I like to boost my day with Jesus everyday! mAre you filled with the light, have you accepted Christ into your life?”

Me: “Yes sir, I have. So what boost would you like in your smoothie?”

Customer: “I told you already.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, looks like were fresh out of Jesus today.”

Customer: “Oh that’s too bad. I’ll just have the whey protein, then.”

And That’s How The Minnesota Vikings Came To Be

| Richmond, VA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hmm. Are you tribal?”

Me: “Um, no. I am white.”

Customer: “No, you are seriously tribal.”

Me: “Well, I’m part Cherokee…”

Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

Me: “I’m part Norwegian?”

Customer: “THAT’S IT!”

When You’ve Lost The Passion Fruit

| Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, can I help?”

Customer: “I’d like a wheat grass shot and an apple, carrot, ginger and orange juice.”

Me: “Would you like size one, two or three?”

Customer: “One.”

Me: “Would you like any extra boosters?”

Customer: “No. Stop trying to sell me things.”

Me: “That’s ¬£*.**. Do you have a loyalty card?”

Customer: “I’m not even loyal to my WIFE.”

Me: “…”