One Immune System Boost, Please

| California, USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a shake/smoothie shop that specializes in healthy shakes with organic ingredients blended before the customer’s eyes. A woman who looks to be in her late 30s walks in and looks at the menu a while.)

Customer: “What ingredients can you put in a shake?

Me: “Well, we can include ground flax seed, hemp, wheat germ—”

Customer: “What? You put germs in your shakes?!”

Me: “No, ma’am, I said wheat germ—”

Customer: “I heard what you said! You said germs! I can’t believe you put germs in your shakes! Wait until I tell everyone how filthy you are!” *storms out*

To Serve Man

| Northridge, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Top

(A male customer approaches the cash register.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “What did you say to me?”

Me: “Um, how can I help you?”

Customer: “You…help me? How can you…help me? YOU?”

Me: “Um, yes. Do you have a problem with that?”

Customer: “You can’t help me!”

Me: “Okay, why not?”

Customer: “Because I don’t need YOUR help!”

Me: “Okay, what what do you want me to do? I’m the only one working here.”

Customer: “I want you to ask me, ‘How may I serve you?'”

Me: “Um, no.”

Customer: *cusses up a storm and leaves*

Not The Most Well-Red On Allergens

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Is that smoothie red?”

Me: “Yes, the strawberries do that.”

Customer: “Okay. I can’t have those. So, this one is orange, right?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But it still has strawberries in it.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s alright. I just can’t have smoothies when they are red.”