I work at a big box retail store. A few days before Halloween, a coworker comes up behind me.
Coworker: “Hey, [My Name].”
I turn around. He is wearing a Halloween mask.
Me: “Yes?”
Coworker: “Darn it! I was trying to scare you.”
Me: “If it makes you feel better, I was a little startled, but working here has taught me how to stay calm.”
The grocery store I work at makes rotisserie chickens. We package them whole and they sit in a heated display. A customer comes up to me.
Customer: “This smells funny.”
Okay, maybe it’s the heated plastic smell from the packaging?
Me: “What does it smell like?”
Customer: “It… it smells like… chicken!”
I stare at her for way too long before my brain manages to blurt out:
Me: “Ma’am, it is a chicken.”
She just chuckles and puts it back!
My coworkers tease me the rest of the day, coming up to the display and saying the salami smells like salami and the sandwiches like sandwiches…
I’m walking into the school where I work as an immersion-English classroom teacher. One of my third-grade students catches up with me, rubbing her hands ostentatiously with hand sanitizer.
Student: “I just love alcohol!”
Me: *Laughs* “Don’t say it like that; it means something different in English!”
Student: *Grins cheekily* “I know!”
Customer: “I want a hot latte iced.”
Further explanation is obviously necessary!
Customer: “I want it heated up then poured over ice! They do it for me all the time.”
Me: “I have to warn you, that might taste weird.”
She insists on her order so I steam the milk, add espresso, and then pour it over ice. She takes a sip.
Customer: “Eww, it tastes like medicine!”
I am visiting my grandmother and grandfather who live in an extremely nice assisted living community. We are “out to dinner” at the on-site restaurant, which is almost entirely staffed by wonderful high school students. A boy probably no older than fifteen is serving us.
Teenage Server: “And what can I get for you, ma’am?”
Grandmother: “Well, dear, I would like the shrimp with the—”
She suddenly stops speaking and releases the longest, loudest passing of gas I’ve ever heard. My uncle can barely contain his laughter, but the young server doesn’t even blink.
Grandmother: “Excuse me! As I was saying, the shrimp with the collard greens, dear.”
Teenager Server: “Absolutely, ma’am, that will be right out for you.”
The server walked away still without any trace of a snicker or embarrassment. Now that’s professionalism! Just goes to show that age and maturity are not always connected!
