I work in a pharmacy situated in a fairly rural area of my state. As such, the power grid in our town is more susceptible to things like storms and damage to power lines. Extended power outages are unfortunately not uncommon.

My closing tech calls me shortly before her shift is supposed to start to inform me that the power has been out in her neighborhood for over two hours and to ask if we have power. (We would have had to shut the pharmacy down if the power was out.) We are experiencing a typical desert southwest heatwave and she is concerned about leaving her dog without any cooling on a 110+ degree day. Since we have power and are open, she comes in. Note: I have ADHD and refer to my struggle to pay attention as my “squirrel brain”.

Tech: “Uh, boss, did you remember to check in the controlled substance order?”

Me: “Crap! I was going to right after lunch, but then I got distracted. The squirrel in my brain is being really active today.”

Tech: *Snorts* “Well, tell the squirrel to leave you alone and hop on that old hamster wheel they’ve got powering our grid. I need my power back on!”

I’m waiting in line for one of the cash registers at a supermarket I only occasionally go to for specific items my local store doesn’t have. It seems like business as usual until the cashier turns away for a moment to grab something. As the automatic doors open to let a customer leave, a cat slips into the store and darts past the cash register and several surprised customers toward the back of the store.

The customer in front of me talks to the cashier.

Customer: “Um, miss? A cat just ran in.”

The cashier is not bothered one bit.

Cashier: “Oh, yeah, he comes in here sometimes.”

A moment later, a young woman comes into the store whom the cashiers clearly recognize.

Young Woman: “Is he…?”

Cashier: *Pointing* “Toward the back.”

The woman quickly makes her way to the back of the store, calling out:

Young Woman: “[Cat], come here, kitty, kitty, kitty!”

Most customers were chuckling by now, and even more when the woman returned shortly after with the cat in her arms. The animal had a look on its face that seemed to say, “Why do you insist on ruining my fun, human?”

The young woman went to take him home, which was apparently the student housing above the store. The cashier mentioned that his owners try to keep him away from the store, but cats are cats, and sometimes he just wanders in. He never damages anything and doesn’t bother people, so nobody sees a reason to make a fuss over it. If anything, I gathered that most people think it’s funny. It certainly made me smile.

In the UK, we have a thing called the CCF — Combined Cadet Force — where teenagers can join a group run by the various military forces, and it serves as an introduction to the military. I join the one at my school, and mostly we learn things like drill, map reading and orienteering, and military tactics. Once a term, we go and do a two-day training exercise out in the field, which normally culminates in doing an overnight exercise.

As part of the CCF, we all have to take the weapons safety test, and only then are we allowed to carry the rifles — though, of course, they are loaded with blanks for the exercise. However, many of the teachers only volunteer for the day and so are not allowed anywhere near the rifles.

As one of the older students, I am playing an enemy with one other student and a few other teachers. As the teachers are not allowed to carry rifles and we are in the middle of a forest, they decide to go and find some sticks to carry around and yell “bang” with.

About five minutes later, the first teacher comes back with a long, thin stick, so we decide this is a good rifle replacement. The second comes back with a slightly bigger stick, so we decide he is the sniper. After a while, the final teacher comes panting back to our position carrying what can only be described as a log on her shoulder. We all fall about laughing after someone suggests that this stick is the rocket-powered grenade launcher and is completely over the top for the situation.

I was on a guided tour of a cave system that was used as a bomb shelter in the War, and it still had some of the old furniture and fittings. The caves were long and twisting, and the entire tour was lit by oil lanterns that we carried.

At one point, the guide wanted to show us how sound carried and just how dark it was, so he showed us a large metal oil tank and told us to remember it. Later, at a very deep part of the cave, he had us leave our lanterns in an alcove. Then, with just his one small lantern to light our way, he led us to a cavern and left us there, in the dark.

It seemed like we were there for an eternity, standing in the pitch black with no sound, just the odd drip of water. In reality, it was a few minutes later that there was a resounding BOOM that made us all jump, and the echoes trailed on forever… until it was silent again. And it stayed silent and dark until, in the distance, we saw the guide’s single lantern slowly approaching. We all fixated on this one point of light, waiting for it to get closer, when suddenly, right next to us, the guide loudly announced:

Guide: “So! Dark, isn’t it?” 

Cue much screaming and laughter. He’d left his lantern on the floor and crept up to us.  

Well played, sir.

I work at the Genius Bar in an Apple store.

Customer: “Is this the Genie bar?”

Me: “Yes, what are your wishes?”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “…Never mind.” 

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Never Joke With The Customers… Ever!