(An elderly man comes into the store and buys two cigars, I place them in a bag and try to hand him his receipt.)

Elderly Man: “I don’t want that.”

Me: “Oh, okay. I’ll just throw it away for you.”

Elderly Man: “Don’t do that I need it!”

Me: “Here you are then.” *trying to hand it back*

Elderly Man: “What am I suppose to do with it?!”

Me: “You said that you needed it.”

Elderly Man: “I do! But where in the h*** am I supposed to put it!”

Me: “Your wallet or your pocket, maybe?”

Elderly Man: “It will get mixed up with everything else and I’ll have to dig it out and throw it away when I get home! I don’t want it!”

Me: “So you want me to throw it away for you?”

Elderly Man: “No, I need it to show my wife!”

Me: *confused* “Do you want it in your bag?”

Elderly Man: “Well that’s what it’s for, isn’t it–to carry things? What’s wrong with you trying to hand someone a receipt? Where the h*** would they put it?!”

(I placed his receipt in his bag and he left muttering about me. He became a regular after that, and never again did I hand him a receipt.)

Related:
Mission: Impossible

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I wanna know if you have any Y’s in stock?” *pronouncing it ‘Why’*

Me: “Y’s? I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “The Y’s! You know, the Y’s!”

Me: “You mean the Wii?”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever.”

Customer: “Hi, I have my car down the loading dock and I’m parked where it says to park, but there’s no button to call your store or anything down there.”

Me: “No, there’s not because the elevator is shared with three levels of stores. We don’t own it; the mall does. You have to call us when you’re there.”

Customer: “How do I call? There’s no button.”

Me: “With your cellphone…”

Customer: “Oh, pfft, I never bring a cellphone with me.”

Me: “But didn’t you just call? How did you call earlier?”

Customer: “With a cellphone!” *looking at me like I’m stupid*