(My friend just had her baby in America, and I live in Ireland. I am going through the airport. I get to the metal detectors and am stopped by security.)

Security Guard: “And what is the nature of your visit?”

Me: “MY FRIEND HAD A BABY AND I’M THE GODMOTHER!”

(This is a very large, buff security guard.)

Security Guard: *squealing* “OH, MY GOD!”

(We both started dancing, and once I got through, he just went back to normal. I’m not sure if he was joking around or just really excited, but he made my day!)

(I work in the bakery section of a national grocery store chain. As we’re technically understaffed, I’m one of only two closers on the payroll and work closing five or six days a week. This means I’m alone in the bakery from about 4:00 pm until I clean up and shut things down at around 8:00 pm. This takes place while my manager is packing up to leave for the day.)

Manager: “All right, [My Name], I’m out. You’re in charge.”

Me: *looks back at the empty bakery* “You hear that, team?!”

Manager: *starts laughing*

(He told me later that he was still chuckling about it on the way home. Good to know I have good quips sometimes.)

(I am traveling for work in southeastern Oklahoma, and we stop at a gas station. While my coworker is filling the tank, I go inside to get some drinks. As I am paying, another customer comes into the store. He is wearing a golf shirt in a bright purplish pink, the color that’s often associated with azaleas.)

Clerk: “Oh, I like a man who’ll wear a pink shirt. You know that’s a confident man!”

(I think she sincerely means to compliment him, but the guy’s face just totally falls.)

Customer: “Oh. I thought it was red.”

(I’m watching a werewolf movie on TV. My father walks in just as the werewolf walks, fully transformed, onto the screen.)

Father: *excitedly* “Hey! It’s RoboCop!”

Me: “Um, isn’t it a bit too furry for that?”

Father: “No one said RoboCop can’t be furry.”

(“It” has been playing for the past week. One day, I get a call at the box office.)

Me: “Hi, thanks for calling [Theater]. How can I help you?”

Caller: *giggling* “Yeah, um… Do you have ‘It’?”

Me: “Yes, we do. Our next show-times are at noon, 3:00 pm, and 7:30 pm.”

Caller: *pause; annoyed* “You were supposed to ask me what ‘It’ was! It was a joke! I wanted to confuse you!”

Me: “Oh, I know. It’s just that we’ve gotten that exact same prank call about ten times a day for the past week and I’m trying not to waste time on them.”

Caller: *click*