Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

A State Of Mindlessness

, , , , , | Right | September 24, 2009

(Note: I’m providing tech support over the phone to a customer.)

Me: “Okay, so we’re just going to need your phone number before I can go any further.”

Caller: “Okay, it’s [local number].”

Me: “…and your area code?”

Caller: “Huh?”

Me: “What state are you in?”

Caller: “Say again?”

Me: “What state?”

Caller: “Sober?”

The Caped Crusader In His Spare Time

, , , | Right | July 6, 2009

(Our call center specializes in courtesy calls to new health care members. We can only speak with the account holder.)

Me: *on the phone* “Hello. Is [Name] available?”

Man: “I’m Batman.”

Me: “That’s… fine, sir, but is [Name] there?”

Man: “I’m Batman.”

Me: “I understand that, but for the purposes of my call, I have to speak with [Name]. Can you please tell me if she’s available?”

Man: “I’m Batman.”

Me: “I’m near a window, and I can see the bat symbol. While you go to meet the Commissioner, could you hand the phone to [Name]?”

Man: “…” *click*

Brogue On A Dime

, , | Right | July 3, 2009

(Although I am an American, I have lived in Ireland for the past ten years.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Are you even from here?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Are you even from Ireland?”

Me: “Well, my family is Irish, but I was born in America.”

Customer: “And they let you work in an authentic Irish coffee shop?!”

Me: “Well, yes. I’ve lived here for years, so I guess they thought it was okay to hire me.”

Customer: “But this is so inauthentic! You don’t even have the right accent!”

Me: *with Irish accent* “Why, of course I do, luv! What are you sayin’, I don’t have the right accent?”

Customer: *flustered* “But… But… You…”

This story is part of the Saint Patrick’s Day 2022 roundup!

Read the next Saint Patrick’s Day roundup story!

Read the Saint Patrick’s Day roundup!

Coming Soon: Backup Singer Hero

, , , , | Right | July 2, 2009

(I’m shopping in a video game store, and an older, overweight, bald man comes into the store alone and proceeds to ask the greatest question I have ever heard.)

Customer: “Do you have the singing game that lets YOU be the star?”

They Always Hunt In Packs

, , , | Right | June 29, 2009

(I’m working at the fast-food drive-thru with a particularly large group of cars in line.)

Customer: “It sure got busy all at once.”

Me: “Yeah, it happens like that.”

Customer: “You know why that is, right?”

Me: “No, tell me?”

Customer: “We wait around the corner until we have a group of about ten cars, and then we swarm all at once!”

(And from that day forward, everything made sense.)

This story is part of the Drive-Thru roundup!

Read the next Drive Thru roundup story!

Read the Drive-Thru roundup!