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Leave The Jingles At Home, Please

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2008

Customer: *singing and dancing* “FIVE! FIVE DOLLAR! FIVE DOLLAR FOOT LONG!”

Me: “For that, I am charging you double.”

Must Be One Of Them Radioactive Horses

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2008

Child: “I like this ride. I like horses but these ones aren’t real.”

Me: “Yup! Real ones are much bigger, probably twice as big as these horses.”

Child: “I rode one once!”

Me: “Really? That’s cool.”

Child: “Yeah. Real horses have eight legs.”

Me: “Oh. That’s… cool.”

Ah, College

, , | Right | August 7, 2008

Female student: *runs through the university library lobby wearing only a string bikini top, hot pants, and loud flip-flops*

Coworker: “I guess she’s in a hurry.”

Me: “Maybe somebody found her shirt…”

This Chicken Has Flown The Coop

, , | Right | August 4, 2008

(Working at the zoo, I hear a lot of strange things from visitors…)

Me: *feeds chickens*

Older Man: “Oh, you’re a bus stop!”

Me: “Huh?”

Older Man: “A bus stop! You’re a bus stop, aren’t you?”

Me: “?”

Woman: “No, she’s not a bus stop.”

Older Man: “…oh.”

Me: *completely at a loss*

At Least He’s Being Honest

, , , | Right | August 3, 2008

Customer: “Excuse me, where are your graphic novels?”

Me: “Graphic novel section? If you’ll just follow me, I ca–”

Customer: “No. Graphic novels.”

Me: “Graphic novels. Right this way–”

Customer: “No! Graphic novels!”

Me: “Graphic novels.”

Customer: “No… graphic novels!”

(A moment of silence passes…)

Customer: “Sorry, I’m feeling contrary.”