That GIF Was No Gift

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | June 24, 2020

Today, I was talking on Messenger with a friend whom I haven’t gotten to see in months because of the quarantine. She was feeling particularly down-in-the-dumps, so I decided to send her some fun GIFs to cheer her up.

After some browsing, I found a GIF that showed a clip of someone pushing brightly-colored confetti across the floor, reversed so that it revealed the words “ur pretty”. Content with my light-hearted choice, I clicked the GIF and watched it send out into cyberspace.

And then, I watched in horror as the GIF played again on my screen. After the person in the GIF revealed the words “ur pretty,” there was a pause before they continued moving to reveal the word “UGLY” in much larger letters. I hadn’t realized there was more to this GIF!

I quickly scrambled to apologize to my friend who, luckily, found it hilarious. Lesson learned: watch the entire GIF before you click!

1 Thumbs
280

Cheesy Jokes Can Get Your Goat

, , , , , | Working | June 23, 2020

My coworker has no kids of his own but has nieces and nephews. He is telling us about taking the kids to a petting zoo.

Coworker: “Do you know that goats smell like Feta cheese?”

Me: “No, [Coworker], Feta cheese smells like goats.”

1 Thumbs
222

Run, Air Molecule, Run!

, , , , , | Learning | June 23, 2020

My chemistry teacher in high school is fantastic. He has an accent like Forrest Gump and a very dry, understated sense of humor. On one memorable occasion, while discussing the properties of gases, he makes the following statement while seeming to point to a spot on the other side of the room.

Teacher: “That air molecule right there is traveling at about 600 miles per hour.”

Cue twenty-five teenagers turning to look at the molecule.

1 Thumbs
295

Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem, Part 2

, , , | Right | June 19, 2020

I work at a fast food chain that is known for its double-stacked burgers. It’s my first day, and I’m working the second window, giving people their food. This is the middle of a rush, and we are working as fast as possible.

A customer pulls up and I open my window.

Customer: “MY BROTHER!”

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Place]. Here is your order; have a great day.”

Customer: “Wow! That was lightning quick!”

Me: “We call it fast food for a reason. Have a great day.”

It’s a pretty typical situation until he comes back fifteen minutes later, unannounced, skipping the order box and pay window, and coming straight to mine.

Me: “Welcome back to [Fast Food Chain]. Was there a problem with your order?”

Customer: “No man! We just wanted some [Famous Burger Sauce].”

I have no idea what to do, so I yell for a manager. The manager tells the kitchen to get a box of the sauce. As I’m handing him the sauce:

Customer: “Can we have two?”

I yell for another. The manager is literally walking up to me with the other sauce in hand.

Customer: “One is actually enough, bye!” 

He then peeled out and sped off. We joked around for the rest of the shift by calling me “MY BROTHER!”

Related:
Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem

1 Thumbs
227

You Gotta Know How To Push Your Partner’s Buttons

, , , , , | Romantic | June 18, 2020

My boyfriend grew up and lives in Australia half the year and Canada the rest. During the health crisis, he is working a temperature checkpoint at his work, which means that he is pulling double shifts. This also means that, despite everything, we do not get to speak more than twice a week because he is either working or sleeping or I’m the one asleep.

It has been two weeks at this point since our last call, which was our last conversation. I am at work when he sends me a message over Skype, which includes picture spam of my favourite character from an MMORPG, which he always knows cheers me up.

Me: “What’s with the picture spam?”

Boyfriend: “I feel like an a**hole.”

Me: “Why would you say that?”

Boyfriend: “Because I haven’t been around, and whenever I’m free I’m usually helping [Brother] with something or babysitting [Nephew] or neglecting you, and I’m sorry.”

Me: “So, to say sorry, you chose to send me a picture of [Character] in nothing but a loincloth on the beach?”

Boyfriend: “Yes.”

Me: “Apology accepted.”

1 Thumbs
358