Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Now Give Me One Million Push Ups

, , , , | Right | September 29, 2009

(I am a personal trainer for this gym member, who has always been a little strange.)

Gym Member: “You always make me do difficult things!”

Me: *joking* “Yeah, I’m sinister like that.”

Gym Member: “I don’t know what that means, so don’t tell me!”

Me: “Okay.”

(The next day, the same member comes into the gym with a look of panic on her face.)

Gym Member: “I went home and looked up sinister. You’re not sinister, you’re lovely!”

Me: “No, it’s okay. I was kidding!”

Gym Member: “But sinister means evil! I do not have an evil personal trainer! You’re lovely! You’re lovely!!”

Me: “Thanks!”

Gym Member: “Oh, you’re welcome, sweetie. I’ll see you next week, but never say sinister again!”

Did you find this story using our Gyms Roundup?

Click here to go to the first story!

Click here to go back to the roundup!

A State Of Mindlessness

, , , , , | Right | September 24, 2009

(Note: I’m providing tech support over the phone to a customer.)

Me: “Okay, so we’re just going to need your phone number before I can go any further.”

Caller: “Okay, it’s [local number].”

Me: “…and your area code?”

Caller: “Huh?”

Me: “What state are you in?”

Caller: “Say again?”

Me: “What state?”

Caller: “Sober?”

The Caped Crusader In His Spare Time

, , , | Right | July 6, 2009

(Our call center specializes in courtesy calls to new health care members. We can only speak with the account holder.)

Me: *on the phone* “Hello. Is [Name] available?”

Man: “I’m Batman.”

Me: “That’s… fine, sir, but is [Name] there?”

Man: “I’m Batman.”

Me: “I understand that, but for the purposes of my call, I have to speak with [Name]. Can you please tell me if she’s available?”

Man: “I’m Batman.”

Me: “I’m near a window, and I can see the bat symbol. While you go to meet the Commissioner, could you hand the phone to [Name]?”

Man: “…” *click*

Brogue On A Dime

, , | Right | July 3, 2009

(Although I am an American, I have lived in Ireland for the past ten years.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Are you even from here?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Are you even from Ireland?”

Me: “Well, my family is Irish, but I was born in America.”

Customer: “And they let you work in an authentic Irish coffee shop?!”

Me: “Well, yes. I’ve lived here for years, so I guess they thought it was okay to hire me.”

Customer: “But this is so inauthentic! You don’t even have the right accent!”

Me: *with Irish accent* “Why, of course I do, luv! What are you sayin’, I don’t have the right accent?”

Customer: *flustered* “But… But… You…”

This story is part of the Saint Patrick’s Day 2022 roundup!

Read the next Saint Patrick’s Day roundup story!

Read the Saint Patrick’s Day roundup!

Coming Soon: Backup Singer Hero

, , , , | Right | July 2, 2009

(I’m shopping in a video game store, and an older, overweight, bald man comes into the store alone and proceeds to ask the greatest question I have ever heard.)

Customer: “Do you have the singing game that lets YOU be the star?”