Years ago, I was working at a bookstore with a cafe in it. I had always gotten along well with the cafe crew and liked to joke around with them. When the fad of drawing a mustache on your finger to hold up to your lip first became a thing, I thought they would get a kick out of it. One day, before my shift started, I went and stood in line in the cafe to get my drink, like I usually did, and when it was my turn at the register I smiled, held the drawn mustache up to my lip, and made my order.

My coworker let out a boisterous laugh, and then literally doubled over on the floor laughing. I was shocked at her reaction, as I was only expecting to get a chuckle out of her, not this kind of extreme response. I stood there embarrassed as the line of customers behind me was wondering what was happening. Another coworker in the cafe, upon seeing the cashier on the floor, let out a disgruntled sigh and stepped over her to come take my order, obviously annoyed with both of us. I sheepishly repeated my order, paid without a word, and stood to the side, red-faced and looking at the floor.

After that, I decided to cut back on horsing around with the cafe crew… At least where customers would be watching.

(One of my coworkers has realized it’s May 4th, and has been letting everyone know as she says good morning.)

Coworker: “May the Fourth be with you!”

Manager: “Whatever. I’m not a Star Trek person.”

Coworker: “Yes, clearly.”

(It is the 90s, and there is a popular brand of mass-produced, solid-block cottage cheese that is packaged in large transparent plastic bags. My mom has been buying it for us to eat nearly every day for months. Dad always opens it by forcefully ripping up the plastic bag. It has practically become a meal ritual to sit down at lunch or dinner with Dad violently ripping open another bag at the table. I’m not quite nine, and we’ve been in this country maybe three months now. Most of the food packaging here is really different than in our previous country. I’ve noticed that some of the other food items we buy have resealable zippers in their plastic bags, which we’ve never seen before, but my parents do become familiar with these at about the same time I do. One day, sitting at the kitchen table I idly examine an unopened package of the cottage cheese we’re about to eat, and I happen to look closely at the other end of the plastic bag than the one dad always rips open.)

Me: “Mom, look! Doesn’t this look just like the funny zipper on the packages of [Other Food]?”

(Mom looks over idly, mumbles something, and dismisses me. Then, they both sit down at the table.)

Me: “Dad, look at that end of the bag! Doesn’t it look just like the funny zipper from the packages of [Other Food]?”

Dad: *waves me off* “Oh, really, don’t be silly, [My Name]. Of course it doesn’t!”

(He grabs the bag and prepares to rip it open. I reach over, tug it out of his hands, turn it the other way up, and carefully tear off the top tear-off part of the bag, revealing — ta-da! — a resealable zipper; which I then also open with no force required. I present it to them.)

Mom & Dad: “…” *embarrassed silence*

(The looks on both parents’ faces were pretty priceless.)

(My aunt and her three-year-old daughter are at a festival when they come across a person dressed like a giant peach. So far, my cousin has been very calm with all the costumes, but this one really freaks her out, enough so that they have to go home because she’s so terrified. The next day…)

Aunt: “We’re going grocery shopping.”

Cousin: *fearfully* “Will there be a peach?”

Aunt: “No, honey, there won’t be a peach.”

(Some time later…)

Aunt: “We’re going out to a restaurant.”

Cousin: “Will there be a peach?”

(This continues for months. My aunt is at her wit’s end, but finally, after this has been going on for a very long time, my cousin is starting to not be afraid of seeing a peach everywhere she goes, and only asks about it every so often. One day:)

Aunt: “We’re going to [Charity Thrift Store].”

Cousin: “Will there be a peach?”

Aunt: “No, sweetie, no peaches.”

(They got to [Charity Thrift Store], and the moment they walked in the door they saw a GIANT stuffed peach with eyes, arms, and legs just sitting on a shelf, staring at them! My cousin freaked out and they left immediately. Her fear was blown back up to huge proportions, and she continued to be terrified of leaving the house for many months after that. The story of how there JUST HAPPENED to be a huge peach at [Charity Thrift Store] is now legendary in our family.)

(My workplace encourages us to switch the lights off when there is no one in the bathroom. Most workers hit the light-switch once they enter the bathroom to turn the light on, and again when they are leaving to turn it off. I am sitting in one stall with the lights on. An unknown person enters and hits the button, causing the light to go out. I am now sitting in the dark. Luckily, there is a switch to turn the light on from inside the stall. I promptly hit it. The other person then walks into the stall next to mine and finishes quickly before me. As she is leaving the stall, she hits the button again, causing me once again to sit in the dark. I promptly switch the light back on, too.  After she finishes washing her hands, she leaves the bathroom and hits the button yet again. In turn, I switch the light on from inside my stall. I hear the person stop in her tracks and hit the button a fourth time. I turn the light back on again and wait. After a couple of seconds, she turns the light off a fifth time. I switch it back on and decide to say something.)

Me: *clears throat* “I am still in the stall, sorry.”

Other Person: “Ah, oh…” *waits a couple seconds and hits the button a sixth time, then leaves*

Me: *sitting in the dark yet again* “Okay, then.”

(While it was a little annoying, I also found it quite funny, as I couldn’t understand how she could turn the light off six times without noticing me switching it on again, especially after I announced my presence.)