What The Function?!

, , , , , , | Related | October 29, 2017

(I’m in grade 11 and am talking about school with my older sister, who has graduated high school and is in college. My sister got… not ideal grades in high school, while I have done quite well.)

Sister: “High school is useless.”

Me: “No, it’s not!”

Sister: “It’s completely useless.”

Me: “Grades are important!”

Sister: “No, they aren’t.”

Me: “They are for getting into college.”

Sister: “I had terrible grades, and I wasn’t rejected from anywhere I applied to.”

Me: “Yeah, well, what if I go into a math field? Then my math grades will matter.”

Sister: “Eww, why would you want to subject yourself to that?”

Me: “I don’t know. Math can be fun.”

Sister: *dramatic gasp* “Ah!” *holds out her fingers like a cross* “Get away from me, you demon!”

Me: “What the—”

Sister: *runs into our grandparents’ apartment*

Me: *follows her* “[Sister], what are you doing?”

Sister: “Ah!” *hides behind grandma* “[My Name] said math was the F-word!”

Grandma: “What!?”

Me: “I said fun. I said math can be fun.”

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The Time Of Magic

, , , , | Learning | October 29, 2017

(It is spirit week at our school and I’ve never really liked the event, so I try to avoid it as much as possible. My Spanish teacher is wearing a fairy costume. We are taking a quiz, when this happens:)

Student: “[Teacher], isn’t it almost time for the [event]?”

Teacher: “Not until 2:50.” *points at a cheap wall clock*

(The clock, almost as if on cue, falls off the wall.)

Class: *silence*

Teacher: “It’s my fairy magic, y’all!”

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Couldn’t Let That Fluttershy Just Flutter By

, , , , , , | Romantic | October 28, 2017

(I’m sitting in the bedroom, listening to my husband play a video game in the next room. It’s a space flight game, and uses a “frame ship drive” to jump between star systems. Because of the voice they used for the computer, it always sounds like “friendship drive” to us. I love puns and wordplay.)

Me: “Hey, hon?”

Husband: *from next room* “Yeah?”

Me: “Your game needs its own show: My Little Spaceship: Frame Ship is Science.”

Husband: *laughs*

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A TV-Perfect Wedding

, , , , , , | Romantic | October 27, 2017

(There’s a TV series I’m a big fan of that features two brothers. The brothers are very different and don’t get along, and fans of this show tend to side with either one or the other. I’ve finally gotten my boyfriend to watch the show with me. I haven’t said much about my own preferences because I don’t want him to be biased, but [Brother A] is my absolute favorite character, and I’m a little worried my boyfriend will prefer [Brother B], who I think is kind of a jerk. We watch the episode that introduces [Brother B] and the conflict between the two, and I’m waiting for my boyfriend’s verdict, a little nervously.)

Boyfriend: “That was a great episode! I think [Brother B] is being kind of unfair, though. I mean, yeah, [Brother A] was being kind of irresponsible, but how was he supposed to know the portal could destroy the world when [Brother B] wrote the warnings in invisible ink? All [Brother B] said was that the secret journal had to be kept safe. That’s not much to go on, and [Brother A] was just trying to protect their family.”

(I’d been watching him with my mouth hanging open, and this was about the point when I finally just kissed him, cutting him off. This may be the man I marry!)

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Really Hates Green

, , , , | Romantic | October 26, 2017

(My husband and I have had some really stressful months this year and we are really at the end of our mental and emotional resources. We recently had a big fight, which mostly had to do with us both being stressed, and now we are having a relaxing day to get away from it. We are stopped at a red light, and we start to discuss a chest of drawers we want to get. When discussed before, the idea of getting a lime green one came up, but now my husband is mentioning a beige one.)

Me: “Yeah, but I really liked the idea of the green one. What do you think of the green?”

Husband: “No. NO!” *wagging his finger at me* “I said, ‘NO!’ I SAID, ‘NO!’”

(At this point I was literally thinking, “Okay, he’s completely gone crazy.” Then I realized that a windscreen washer was standing outside my window and my husband was yelling at him.)

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