Carrying A Lot Of Baggage

, , , , | Right | July 28, 2010

Me: “What kind of bag would you like?”

Customer: *without hesitation* “A hot blonde with blue eyes, six feet tall, smart, and successful.”

Me: “Me and you both, buddy. But you’re in luck, as it just so happens our bags are tan and blue. Will that be okay?”

Customer: “That’s fine. It’s better than what I have back at home.”

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Brogue On A Dime

, , | Right | July 3, 2009

(Although I am an American, I have lived in Ireland for the past ten years.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Are you even from here?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Are you even from Ireland?”

Me: “Well, my family is Irish, but I was born in America.”

Customer: “And they let you work in an authentic Irish coffee shop?!”

Me: “Well, yes. I’ve lived here for years, so I guess they thought it was okay to hire me.”

Customer: “But this is so inauthentic! You don’t even have the right accent!”

Me: *with Irish accent* “Why, of course I do, luv! What are you sayin’, I don’t have the right accent?”

Customer: *flustered* “But… But… You…”

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Y, Will, Y Will, Rock U!

, , | Right | December 14, 2007

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I wanna know if you have any Y’s in stock?” *pronouncing it ‘Why’*

Me: “Y’s? I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “The Y’s! You know, the Y’s!”

Me: “You mean the Wii?”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever.”

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Zero Short Term Memory

, , | Right | December 11, 2007

Customer: “Hi, I have my car down the loading dock and I’m parked where it says to park, but there’s no button to call your store or anything down there.”

Me: “No, there’s not because the elevator is shared with three levels of stores. We don’t own it; the mall does. You have to call us when you’re there.”

Customer: “How do I call? There’s no button.”

Me: “With your cellphone…”

Customer: “Oh, pfft, I never bring a cellphone with me.”

Me: “But didn’t you just call? How did you call earlier?”

Customer: “With a cellphone!” *looking at me like I’m stupid*

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